shrouded by self-doubt

1:11 PM

If I tell the world,
I'll never say enough cause it was not said to you
And that's exactly what I need to do
If I'm in love with you

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere

-----------------------

There are always too many words left unsaid.

That day my 16 year old tutee told me I was naive and gave me advice about boys. FML. HAHAHHA.

But yeah, I guess I've always been living in a bubble. My own cosy bubble where I formulated many many theories about meeting the right person.

"But he's so ideal!"

"But he's nice in ways you all cannot see!"

Along the way I formulated many excuses for myself to once again be vulnerable. She calls me a tofu.

"Even if you want to be a tofu also must be fried tofu! Hard on the outside! So even if you're soft on the inside nobody knows!"

It makes quite a lot of sense. I am steamed - no, uncooked- tofu now. Constant self doubt just keeps haunting me again and again.

There are people who just aren't love-able or loveable. I probably belong to both those categories.

Love,
Me.