simplicity and sincerity.

11:11 PM

i used to be envious of people who could write essays or blog entries using big words.
and by saying 'big' words, im referring to those that you have to go to http://www.dictionary.com/ to look up. i used to think their entries looked more convincing and profound.. superior to mine in many ways.

by comparison, my entries seem so childish. i look like a emo airhead. (refer to my emo-style entries: short, incomplete sentences with no big words)
but i slowly came to realise that using big words ain't everything. in fact, now i get a bit turned off by people who flaunt their 'rich vocabulary' while writing.

i remember my classmate in sec 4. well, okay he's really good at english literature but his style of writing is a bit convoluted? lots of big words of course. he used to get marked down for english essays. narratives, especially. too many big words and exaggerated descriptives.

i came to realise that your vocabulary isnt all that matters when it comes to writing. it's the amount of thinking you put into it and the sincerity you are able to put across to your reader.

when was the last time you used a big word while talking or writing, yet was dumbfounded when questioned what that word meant? i just experienced it yesterday. it's the kind of word that you cant explain using words, but you know how to use it. it's strange, isn't it?
that we have taken for granted that the word can express that idea, yet we are not sure how to define it.

it's the simple words that convey the most primitive and true feelings.
(:

clear skies.

11:19 PM

clear skies! (: yay.
i still remember which colour marker you like!

the tension of opposites.

8:36 PM

let me quote one of my favourite parts from the book "Tuesdays with Morrie" :

"Have I told you about the tension of opposites?" he says.

The tension of opposites?

"Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.

"A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle."

Sounds like a wrestling match, I say.

"A wrestling match." He laughs. "Yes, you could describe life that way."

So which side wins, I ask?

"Which side wins?"

He smiles at me, the crinkled eyes, the crooked teeth.

"Love wins. Love always wins."

how true..

my confession

7:52 PM

it seems that every step i take is a mistake.
every blog entry i post..
every word i say..
every action i make..
is under such great scrutiny..
and in the end..
they are misread.
i'm misunderstood.

maybe i should just stop talking.
i should stop doing anything.
to avoid further misunderstanding.

but still, here i am, posting this entry.
which will probably be under scrutiny, and misread once more.
but i have absolutely no ill intentions, and i beg you to concur.
and i'm so jaded. i'm willing to take a risk.
all i ask for, is your understanding, and forgiveness.

i'm filled with guilt, yes i know.
but more still, i'm filled with remorse.
and im filled with sadness..
i always thought i was the easiest person to understand because i'm an open book.
i lay all my emotions out in the open.
i thought honesty was the best policy to everything..

i admit i let anger get the better of me.
jealousy, maybe.
or it was pity, at my sorry life.
but that was ages ago.
people change. as like their opinions and their thinking.
it's just like the econs case study. it's all about timing.
the wrong policy at the wrong time ; the wrong interpretation at the wrong time.

im wearing my heart on my sleeve; for you to see.
but also, for daws (silly birds) to peck at. for i am, not what i am.

i never meant to hurt anybody.
ever.
really.
it's so out of my control, really.

i treasure this.. more than you could ever feel it coming from me.
it means a lot to me.
though i don't show my feelings much nowadays.
how did i become like this?
i can't even cry.

and this is the end of my confession.

just another random post.

8:53 PM

ahh long time no post.

my tagboard's dying. seems like imma conversation ender! ):

-hides in corner-

life has been crazy.

but it's all good.

blocks results are coming back. i mean, i can't complain about the horrible results.

afterall i didn't really put in effort. haha.

well. at least there was a breakthrough in my GP. (: first A ever!

whee.

life's good. when you don't think about the unhappy stuff.

------------

im craving for this!

tohato caramel corn!(: i love.

i love tohato stuff. they're all damn cute!

---------

i've been wondering..

what makes people fall in love?

amor a primera vista.

9:01 PM

introducing the new love of my life..

FERNANDO TORRES! (:

okay i know i'm getting real crazy over him but i promise this will be the first and the last post about him! ok, maybe the second last.

red was always your colour, boy!

YYY

say no to no.

8:42 PM

happiness stems from the heart! (:
i'm learning how to make seeking happiness not a means but an end.
it's all in the mind actually. it's the ability to remain happy even though your days seem bleak because of physics, even though you see your ex with another girl, even though your results are screwed and you keep getting fatter, for example.
it's learning how to be strong and love yourself. that's happiness to me.

promises can be broken, dreams can be crashed. friends can betray you, your lovers can abandon you. everything's changing, and some things are out of your control. some say the world is cruel, but i know there's still love out there, all around us.

say no to no!
say no to pessimism!

i used to live with a cloud above my head. didn't really want to keep my chin up and live my life with purpose. i brought all the misery upon myself, actually. kept thinking "no, i can't do it.", and naturally i couldn't. thought i had to feel sorry for myself, thought i had to be sad when i saw certain things. i was so wrong, constantly drenched in my own tears.

but what doesn't break you, makes you.(:

--------------------

we've got to stop fighting.

happiness, redefined.

11:23 PM

just for tonight i shall continue to tell myself that as my material wants are satisfied, i become happier.

-------------

find me an angel in this hell.

NEW SKIN!

12:58 PM

i just made a new skin!!!! all by myself. yayness.
taa-daaah!

-jumps around-