[[ wheee.

11:05 PM

ahhaha. ben WAS holding audrey's hand. (:
look how shy eeloong is. :D
and peiyu is laughing like O.o "PEIYU where's ur POISE?!" -daphne

lols. benjamin and audrey are the captains. peiyu and eeloong are the vice captains. ah.
so cute :D

ahah. look at this! cross-stiched by a GUY senior some 30 somethin years ago?! whee!
passed down each year to the girl captain.
the guy captain holds a small tablet -.- which says something nu3 li4 (hard work)
damn cool. looks like what u would see in those wushu movies.
hwachong ping pong is so cool. we're like one big family. (:
we aren't gonna have training until july! =(
but recre table tennis is starting ahha. so we shall go there once a week maybe? im so gonna miss the training ground.

_________________

so yesterday we went on a mini tt outing. went kbox in the morning with LZY, xiaobai and yushan (:
LZY can't sing. seriously. damn tone deaf :X
den we went to guowei's shop! i bought an ipod casing.
www.tangochocolat.com (his shop webby)
then we went shopping at orchard!
someone left me smelling like a MARSHMALLOW by spraying some chanel perfume on me. -_-

YES it's YOU JASPER TAN EELOOOOONG. -.-
dun give me the "nooo i'm innocent" face!!
lol. u pissed shan and xiaobai off too! hmph.

oh yes. yesterday leng zheng yan really went all out to jio xuefan.g poor xuefang. he even touched her hair larh. damn! erxin!
and hor, he just push me and xiaobai aside to get to xuefang man. damn damn damn erxin. we're damn pissed off. xuefang we'll protect u!!! dun worry! =D

today' fac outing was damn fun. AMAZING RACE. started from school then we went to simei east point (: completed some tasks and we went to the airport. completed some tasks again and we went to DOWNTOWN EAST. omg. damn long nv go there liao. and we completed some more tasks. shan should've juggled the paus. damn entertaining lah. sure got ppl clap one! lol.
and a super zai magician performed just for our class (: he was SO GOOD. really. we were flabbergasted. seriously. and and and
OUR CLASS came in SECOND for the amazing race. like whee. (:

to reward ourselves, we went to swensens to eat! i had chicken baked rice and shared a banana crumble with deren!
ah. funny picture. yes the banana crumble looks so zai =D they way they served it was so seh ahhaha.
whee. fun day. tml string orch concert. wah. dun need do hw liao lor! win liao. seriously.

[[ beautiful game.

11:03 PM

it was a battle well fought. (:
they played a beautiful game.
we, hwachong, played a beautiful game.
it's over.
next year hwachong will try again.
next year hwachong will make history.
again.

11:07 PM

HA! our desperate attempts to win a phone. seeee 15 "tay wen si"s =D

11:06 PM

we finished 2 mix n' match sundaes. chcolate fudge brownie, chunky monkey, cherry garcia, chocolate chip cookie dough, dublin mudslide. (: too bad no pix of the icecream. we gobbled them up too quickly. heh.

11:05 PM

we decided to go ben and jerrys to pig out today (: cuz i wasn't in a very good mood. because of some stuff. im okay now. heh. dunjie played the piano in a piano shop. damn zai. was amazed.

11:03 PM

me and shaaaaaan (:

11:03 PM

random photoshopping (:

11:02 PM

the wonders of photoshop. (: lol.

11:02 PM

whee i love my eye (:

10:59 PM

almost 10 years with her and i ain't sick at all! (: and many more good years ahead. besties forever! (i rarely use this word actually =P)

10:57 PM

dorothy and me (:

[[ HAPPY

11:41 PM

if i were to say i feel nothing, i would be lying.
but i'm not sad. am i?
today whole day just keep laughing.
am i laughing at myself? maybe.
honestly i thought it would hurt.

ben and jerry's ice cream rocksss =))
today we had free ice cream. whee. i ate cookie dough and strawberry cheesecake.
heidi ate 3 cones! audrey and xuefang too!
poor peiyu adeline and yuanshan only got 1 =(
haha. recently i've been eating SOOOO MUCH. time to go exercise, miss tay.

sometimes i wonder if im serious about anything at all.
it should be in the heart but my heart's not hurting. my head is.

talking about headaches, today those -_- PLMGSS girls gave me a splitting headache with their super high pitched + loud shrieks/screams. i bet it was more than 100 decibels.
luckily they lost (:

this queer sensation keeps bolting through my body. it's kinda... numb?
i duno how to describe it but i always get this weird feeling when ________..
yeah.
honestly i thought the truth would hurt. i guess i overestimated the truth. or maybe i underestimated myself.

=)) EVERYBODY SHOULD BE HAPPY. SHA LA LAAAA.

[[ foolish games

5:25 PM

saw this on rimmel's blog. since i've got nothing to do, shall try it. (: erps. no. i've got many things to do. math tutorial, gp essay, PI.... so the list goes on.

1. Pick your birth month.
2. Strike out anything that doesn’t apply to you.
3. Bold the five-ten that best apply to you.
4. Copy to your own journal, with all twelve months under a cut.
go to rimmel's blog for the full list! click "comments" and you'll see the full list. my blog no space lah.
RIMMEL'S BLOG (i help u avertise siah)

JUNE

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. ~~Active mind.~~ Hesitating, tends to delay. ~~Choosy and always wants the best.~~ Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. ~~Good debating skills.~~ Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. ~~Prone to getting colds.~~Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. ~~Seldom shows emotions.~~ Takes time to recover when hurt. ~~Brand conscious.~~ ~~Executive.~~ Stubborn.

went to do umpiring at delta sports hall today. -_- damn. tang zhe was so scheming. he let me do the match which lasted the longest. still say "very fast finish one!" blehhh bluff me.
somewhere during the match, yuanshan walked past and i was busy looking at her, so busy that i forgot the score. freak. had to ask the players. -_- ok nvm. even worse thing was, i counted the score wrongly due to the interference of a ball and someone shouting "timeout". totally threw me off focus. -_- luckily the the team which i discredited won, or else they would have taken this to higher authorities (eg. sports council). i was soooo depressed after they scolded me for counting the score wrongly. my face was as red as this : O.O

luckily yinloo consoled me by telling me that he had the same experience before, but he's still an umpire now. assistant manager summore. -_- okay. so i shan't be so depressed.

i gtg write my dumb GP essay. "mass media is our worse enemy - it destroys and corrupts. Do you agree?" -.-

"Foolish Games"

You took your coat off and stood in the rain,

You're always crazy like that.

And I watched from my window,

Always felt I was outside looking in on you.

You're always the mysterious one with

Dark eyes and careless hair,

You were fashionably sensitive

But too cool to care.

You stood in my doorway,

with nothing to say

Besides some comment on the weather.

[Pre-Chorus 1]Well in case you failed to notice,

In case you failed to see,

This is my heart bleeding before you,

This is me down on my knees, and...

[Chorus]These foolish games are tearing me apart,

And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart.

You're breaking my heart.

You're always brilliant in the morning,

Smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee.

Your philosophies on art,

Baroque moved you.

You loved Mozart and you'd speak of your loved ones

As I clumsily strummed my guitar.

[Pre-Chorus 2]Well, excuse me,

guess I've mistaken you for somebody else,

Somebody who gave a damn,

Somebody more like myself.

You took your coat off,

Stood in the rain,

You're always crazy like that.

[[ rain

1:14 AM

okay.

it's raining outside now. i kind of like listening to the plitter platter of the raindrops on the air-con unit outside my window. it has a therapeutic effect. i feel so safe now. the rain can't touch me. is it raining in my heart? haha not really anymore. i'm kinda okay now i guess.

"im just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her." -- my fave line from notting hill. or rather, the ONLY part of notting hill i watched. lol. i shld watch the whole thing.

i've thought through many things the past few days.
i make myself depressed for nothing (:

hahaha. i like it when i'm happy. i like to make my friends happy too.
today we went to orchard road. retail therapy really works (: shan and i bought these waaay cute powder puffs. glittery pink powder. and fake eyelashes lol. playplay. (: nv try to put before. think will be damn disasterous but fun (:
next time i feel down i shall just go for retail therapy. meanwhile must save money. hope i dun get depressed anytime soon cuz im kinda broke.

i like to see your smile. i want to see you smile every day (:

i wish i could make u smile. i wish i could make you happy.

you look so much nicer when you smile. don't be unhappy okay?

cuz it hurts me so to see you like this.. it hurts me so when i know i can't do much to make u happier.

(ha! this paragraph is dedicated to one guy and one girl =D)

xiaobai i love you! dun feel so sad anymore lah. im always here (:

[[ real

12:35 AM

these dreams seem so real.
but dreams are only dreams.

these illusions seem so real.
but illusions are, afterall, illusions.

this pain seems so real.
but this pain is, afterall, just my pain.

and only i know how to end it.
and i want to end everything right now.

[[ deluding myself.

12:13 AM

im getting so irritated. irritated by myself.
you know perfectly how i feel.
i don't have a clue about how YOU feel.

what's wrong with me?!

it's all up to you now.
and i guess, since you don't really give a damn,
i might as well close this chapter and move on.

im ruining myself.

i know im a gemini, it's not strange for me to have 2 personalities at the same time.
but it's SO FREAKY.

im like "so happy so happy" but i "hate you". lols. yar something like that. the transition is too quick.

sometimes i try to tell myself to look on the bright side
and i realise..
there is NO bright side.

all i can see is darkness in front.
pitch black.

i can't even feel how much im hurting.
and do you care? nooo! i don't think so!

i guess all the "bright sides" were by-products of my self-delusion.

MY NEW HOBBY: DELUDING MYSELF.

i wish you could spare some time to delude me too. the more the merrier.

i think i was pretty damn successful at deluding myself. i actually believed myself.
i actually believed the preposterous crap i made up.
i was actually happy deluding myself.

i guess i can continue deluding myself.
until you come by and say "stop."

and then my whole world comes crumbling down on me. but it won't hurt.
it won't hurt a bit.
cuz my whole world is just an illusion.
it's not real.

it won't hurt at all.
(look. i think i'm deluding myself again.)

[[ quiz 3

11:51 PM

haa. im watching this movie on tv. "Paying it Forward" it's a super movie. (: super meaningful. i've watched it before. kinda thought provoking.. i think it's about how one person can change the world.. if he tried.
i ripped this quiz from kwang guan's blog. (:

About You
1.Name: Tay Wen Si
2.Gender: Female
3.Primary school: Zhangde Primary School
4.Secondary School: RGS (3 days), River Valley High
5.Zodiac sign: snake. horoscope gemini
6.Height: 162cm

Favourites:
7.Color: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink, black, white, silver, brown, grey....... ok lah. no special preference =P
8.Food: im totally not picky.
9.Drinks: Ice Lemon Tea.. plain water.. aiyah. much more.
10.Numbers: FOURTEEN. SEVEN. ELEVEN. SEVENTEEEEN. ((:
11.Anime characters: erps i dun watch anime.
12.Songs: Too many...
13.Movies: too many...
14.Subject: chemistry/chinese
15.Day of the week: saturday
16.Brand: adidas
17.Hairstyle: erps. quite long but super layered.
18.Look: sick. [EDITED] ahhaha. ok-.- sry i tot the qn is asking how I look like. -.- got fave look de meh. erps. handsum or pretty lor. -_- ok fave look for guys is... fair, tall, nice complexion, nice eyes and nice smile. lol. fave look for girls is .. the sporty tanned look or the sweet look lah. wth.
19.Thinking of: ermmm when this quiz will end
20.Listening to: "things i'll never say" by avril lavigne
21.Do you believe in Love: maybe.
22.Faith: Yes.
23.Yourself: nope. i dun believe in myself.
24.Ghosts: yes
25.Angels: *shrugs* i hope i meet one.

In The Last 24 Hours:
26.Worn jeans: nope.
.27.Cleaned your room: i NEVER clean my room.
28.Cried:Nope...
29.Met someone new: some uncle playing table tennis at TBCC
3o.Last person you went out with: jialin?
31.Do you have a BF/GF: nope.
32.Do u admire any one: I admire lots of ppl. Everyone has something in them worth admiring... (copied)
33.Does someone admire you: I hope so.
34.Do you plan on having kids: yupp..
35.How old you wanna be when you get married: ermm 25? but i have to find the right one first. 36.How old you wanna be when you have your child: 26?
37.How many kids do you want: 2. 1 is damn lonely. take it from me. i know besst.
38.Would you have kids before marriage: no way.
39.Have you found your other half: nope.
40.What do you want most in a relationship: Trust, comfort, seeking solace in the companionship, sharing all woes and happiness and definitely lasting attractions.
41.Pink or Black: both lah. but black is cooler. ((:
42.Kiss or hug: huggg.
43.Summer or Winter: summer. im suuuper afraid of the cold.
44.Sunny or Rainy: both are okay.
45.Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla.
46.Hanging out or chill:Either way works as long as u've got the right company. (copied)
47.Music or TV: TV. TV TV TV! im a 100% TV ADDICT.
48.Hamburger or Pizza: both are okay. told ya im not picky.
49.Smiling or Laughing: i smile all the time it's freaky. (: and i laugh A LOT.
50.Sleeping or eating: i <3 SLEEPING. absolutely. ANYTIME. SLEEPING.
61.McDonald's or KFC: Macs. KFC is ohhhhkay though.
62.Silver or Gold: silverrr.
64.On phone or in person: ermmm depends on the person.
65.Diamonds or Pearls: diamonds (: a girl's best friend.
66.Pacific or Roxy: roxy lah. although quite bimbo.
67.Band member or model: Model. Cos models very preeety and I wanna be preeety! yeah
68.Sneakers or Boots: Sneakers =)
69.Clubbing or Live Music: live music.
70.JLopez or Jennifer aniston: jennifer aniston. i love her hair and her smile. (:
71.What is the time now: 12:06am
72.What are u doing: blogging. and totally owning rimmel at minesweepers (: and watching "paying it forward" :)
73.Who is the last person u saw nearby ur house: some... big sized guy who looks rather amiable.
74.Who is the last person u sms: Justin
75.Who is the last person who sms u: mummy
76.How many times is ur profile being viewed:Does it matter?.
77.How many ex u had: 2
78.How is your day in school: today no school whahaha
79.Were you late for school today: today no school whahaha HAHAHa.
8o.Who are u chatting with now: rimmel
81.How old are u: 16 going on 17
82.Last thing u drank: tian1 cha2 -_- some health product. -.-
83.Last thing u ate: some biscuit called crispiroll.
84.What u feel like saying to the one u hate now: i dun hate anyone
85.I like: to wait at the bus stop knowing you'll arrive soon and alight from the bus like an angel coming down from heaven. LOL OMG. ( woah, wj response so seh. so painful to delete this.)
myself.
86.I love: myself. ((: self-centred brat. lol. i love everyone. (that's what i keep telling wenjie)
87.Have u ever broke someone's heart: yep.
88.This term, have u ever cried in school: yup.
89.Had ur heart broken: yupp. ): i dun wan it to happen again. cuz i almost got hit by a car the last time my heart got broken reaaaal bad.
9o.Who is the person you now damn hate: i dun hate anyone.
91.Who is the person u want: i don't know. serious.
92.The last person you kissed: yongxian -_-
93.The last pests u killed: i think i killed a moth by swiping at it.
94.The last word you said: "huh"
95.How long u sleep last night: eight hours
96.Who are talking to on msn: rimmel
97.When is ur last outing day: Cant remember.
98.Song listening to now: none
99.How are you feeling: cold. aircon.
100.Are you missing someone: maybe lah. i really don't know.

yupp. so i end the 100-qn quiz (madness. who is the crazy person who came up with this quiz?!!) with this ... "i really don't know" statement.

cuz. i really don't know. freak.

[[ Pessimism

12:31 AM

sometimes we do things for the sake of doing things.. not because we really WANT to do them. for example, i'm blogging for the sake of blogging. i don't know what to blog about actually. maybe i should blog about how badly my head is aching now. or maybe.. how bad my heart is aching.

argh. i typed something but i deleted it. i shouldn't dwell on the past too much. the future seems equally bad.. but i shouldn't be so pessimistic. nothing ever goes well for me..
okay. that's not true. many things go well for me. like all those major exams.. but exams aren't everything in my life. recently i've been feeling so discouraged about schoolwork that i've contemplated about quitting school. this is so depressing.
on a lighter note, today was the first time our pw group got together. my group consists of wang ren (the thinker/leader), max (the superstar), samuel (the cuuute talker), weiye (the niceee girl) and me! (the AA-er) (:
lols. i should post our group photo LOL. so special. we're the only group with a group photo. i look hideous. but never mind. lol (:

[[ the feeling is just fading away. ): is waiting gonna do me any good?

GIVE IT UP.

[[ passive and expectations

10:02 PM

PaE.

haiyo. this blog almost died. lol. owner too lazy to upkeep it.
ok. today i shall blog about passiveness and expectations.

passive: Receiving or subjected to an action without responding or initiating an action in return

expectation: The act of expecting (-.- wth)

okay. if you expect this to be a very long and wordy entry, you're so wrong. i hate to write essays. hahaha.

bottom line of this entry is, when dealing with a passive person, don't expect too much. because as i have mentioned above, a passive person receives an action without responding or initiating an action in return! ha. so much for action and reaction forces! okay maybe not all of us do physics. newton's 3rd law (i think) states that every force has a reaction force acting on it. this reaction force is of equal magnitude but in the opposite direction.
it's basic courtesy to reciprocate.. it's basic courtesy to respond. it's personal preference to initiate.. but it is not wrong to not reciprocate.. sigh. what am i babbling about.
argh the bottomline of this entry is at the middle. -_- how ironic. okay.
yupp.
don't expect too much.

"Things I'll Never Say"
I'm tugging at my hair

I'mpulling at my clothes

I'm trying to keep my cool

I know it shows

I'm staring at my feet

My checks are turning red

I'm searching for the words inside my head

[pre-Chorus](Cause) I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah

[Chorus]If I could say what I want to say
I'd say
I wanna blow you... away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

It won't do me any good
It's just a waste of time
What use is it to you
What's on my mind
If ain't coming out
We're not going anywhere

So why can't I just tell you that I care

[[ 100

11:02 PM

my 100th entry! (:

let's start with the good news. hctt won innova tt 5-0 =)
hurrah! tml versus temasek. jiayou jiayou. we must trash that kaobei long pimpled shorthand girl who looks as black as her jersey (: she was really damn attitude today lah. bang bat on table.. diao-ing her opponent.. whining and stamping her feet.. what a brat. and hor, first time i see people shouting "good ball" for herself lor. -_- win liao win liao. luckily she lost in the end. (:

okay.
end of the good news.
----------------------------------------------

i should have known better. right now i just feel so dumb. why can't you be the one who does all these dumb things? why must i be the one doing all this? all my efforts will go to waste anyway. i don't need someone who makes me feel bad about myself. or rather.. i feel good about myself for doing all this stuff.. but i wake up and i lapse into despair again.