it's a lot.

11:35 PM

there's too much love in this little heart.
and then sometimes, maybe all the time, everything means a lot.

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im working at SPH now! will update with photos soon (: hope i can make more friends though. i feel so withdrawn. i was never like that in the past. i wonder what changed me. i wanted to go back to being fab and all... but the feeling's never coming back.
today somebody commented "wow... you're really shy =)"
like huh?! nobody's ever said that of me before. although i think i really am shy inside, everyone else thinks that im not shy at all.

it was actually a rude awakening of some sort. hope i get chosen for the new paper new face assignment! but i somehow think i wont get it. oh well...

friendship.

12:20 AM

friends are important. good friends stick around no matter how much they disagree with the stupid decisions you make, the wrong steps you take.. no matter how much they wanna punch you for saying something hurtful haha.

but yeah, i really really want to say a big thankyou to all my friends who have stuck by me. in one way or another. through all my highs and lows. i usually do thank them already, but some of you i really can't thank enough. you know who you are.

and yeah, no matter what happens (or happened), if you're a friend, i'll stick around too.

i promise.

paper heart

7:48 PM

where is your heart?
'cause I don't really feel you..
where is your heart?

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原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪

原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语

-----------------------

how do you measure someone's worth?

mad love.

11:21 PM

i just got my first birthday present!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (:

when i entered my room i saw a box on my table. i couldn't believe my eyes.

it was a spanking new GOLD Canon Ixus 110 IS. omggggggggg. wayyy shinier in real life.

i started screaming and shouting for a good whole 5 minutes. my mother was awfully shocked HAHAH. i was jumping around like crazy girl.

ok so, the person who bought me this camera is non other than my dad. i asked him to help me check out the price of canon ixus 870 IS because i wanted to save up for it. i didnt expect him to buy me an even NEWER version of the camera! (: when he came home i ran out immediately to give him a HUGE hug!

this camera is awesome cuz it's sleek, small and has helluva shooting capabilities!!! even the video is in HD. which is AWESOME. and 4x optical zoom......

ok im delirious. -floats away-

today i tried to make breakfast and i scalded my fingers. people, NEVER buy Betty Crocker's Pancake Mix. it's horrendous. stick with the cheaper brands. i made some awful waffles. to think that i woke up at 7:15am and not accomplish anything at all. ): sigh. i cant describe how disappointing that was. wanting to make something perfect but seeing it end up so horrible!

oh well! i will NEVER cook again. cept for maggi mee, sushi and buttered prawns.

about lines

12:41 AM

today i realised, there's a very thin line between being helpless and being resolute.
many people might not link these 2 extremes together, but somehow i have found my way to.

when you find yourself in a predicament i.e a situation that's hard to get out of, or almost impossible to solve, you find yourself feeling lost and helpless. however, this may also be the point in time that you become resolute.

for me, im now being resolute to turn the situation to my advantage. or at least make myself feel happier. but who knows, deep inside it may be a resolution to just stick with this fate. afterall you don't see how you can change it, yeah? you may just be fronting. and one day if you realise your iron-willed resolution is actually just a facade.. everything crumbles.

wow. that was heavy. HAHA. it almost sounds as if im schizophrenic. i don't know. it's hard being a gemini. all i know is, i don't wanna cry no more. (:

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birthday wish:
wensi wants to go watch AT LEAST oneeee arts fest performance because she has NEVER EVER been to any.
(arts fest ends on my birthday btw! i think.. it's a sign.)

muse.

12:16 AM

me at the Singapore Art Museum!

yay wensi loves museums (: and just sitting around at home watching DVDs. it's good to be able to slack around. though i really think i should get a job. been granted an interview on fri. hope everything goes well!

btw museums are not boring lah! the next museum i wanna visit is the toy museum. roomie jio you go national museum!

i enjoy walking in museums because i feel like a better person when i'm in the museum. that day i went to the SAM, i saw this huge exhibition by Wu GuanZhong. He's a really really old chinese artist. he's almost 90 this year but he's STILL painting. his artwork is characterized by random colourful spots of paint on beautiful scenary. and mind you, the spots are EXCESSIVE. in my opinion he could do much better without those colourful spots, but that's what makes his art special, i guess.

walking in museums makes you feel happy.

when you're with happy people. (:

walking in museums makes you feel happy. when you can actually understand (or at least have an interpretation of) what the artist is trying to tell you.

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J'aime le Kenzo Amour Eau De Parfum! HAHA

Disconnect.

2:18 AM

please don't tell me it's time to disconnect.

"Hello..?"

Finally finished packing and moving out of hall. Much thanks to Eugene for helping! I had a HELL lot of stuff within that tiny half of the room i had in Hall 3.

Staying in hall had been a wonderful experience. (mostly.) I met some REALLY great people, and we shared really swell memories (:

I'll never forget the late night movies, mahjong, just sitting around talking nonsense and chilling, random escapades to ADM and ikea, lovely post-its and identities pasted on our doors, late night soccer matches (wheet! although i mostly fall asleep halfway), late night suppers (touches stomach ruefully), late night HTHTs (heart-to-heart talks)...

I'll never forget the wonderful people I have met. (: Every single one.

I don't want this to be the time to disconnect. Although I think I might have no credits left.

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Talking about disconnecting.. I guess after what I did today I really must start considering disconnecting from some things.. It's like, breaking away from an addiction. It's gonna be so painful. But I think writing will help.

How do you end... or how do you disrupt such a strong connection? But you know, you've gotta do so someday. It's for your own good. It's for the greater good.

We all need connections..

But do I need this particular one? I think I do. But I can't.