slacking.

9:38 PM

cutting yourself too much slack is evil.

i dare say i have been like this (fat) cat for the past 8 months.
today i finally realised. i think i must have been blinded. for EIGHT LONG MONTHS.
i think i didnt want to face up to the fact that i have been slacking my life away. i always liked to cut myself some slack. but i totally didn't realise that i was overdoing it.

today's quiz woke me up. i walked in without any hope of doing well. the paper was really easy though. and i realised i could actually do it. complacency set in and i slacked off, as usual. ending up with 3 or 4 very careless mistakes. i find myself agonizing over this same issue over and over again. and so today, i finally realised that the root of the problem was.

and it doesnt help that today is a wretched rainy day (and when being nice doesnt help at all). i mean, sometimes it's freakin' tiring to be nice to somebody. somebody you really care about. but the person just freakin' doesnt appreciate, or doesn't even acknowledge. and repeatedly pisses you off. and i think i have FINALLY freakin had enough. (and i'm not talking about a guy)

anyway, back to the topic of slacking. i realised if i wanna do anything, i shouldnt cut myself any slack. i must learn to be a perfectionist. i used to mock perfectionists for being too uptight, too serious and too fussy. but i realised, it is the perfectionists who get what they want in life.

i know, me saying that i wanna be a perfectionist sounds awfully hilarious. but i'll try.