balloons.

2:39 PM

just a short post before i go for dance. the final showdown's tonight! (:

i really love this photograph. the colours and the composition. the sky looks unreal.

sidenote: glucosamine capsules are the HARDEST things to swallow. because they float. it's hard to wash it down with water. i almost died choking on it. but but still, thankyou yongkai for the glucosamine! i really need it now that my knees are so chui. ):

got this huge blue-black on my right knee due to box-splitting too much. i think im doing it the wrong way cuz my knee hits the ground first. ouch!

alright im going off! i just wanna say.. no matter how negative i've been throughout this period, i must say i'm gonna miss everything. and everyone.

dwelling.

2:14 AM

isn't it funny how it's late at night and you feel so tired but you just don't want to get to bed..

because you're thinking of stuff. and it's not like you'll come to a conclusion after thinking so much.

there's simply no solution in sight. but you just want to think about every wrong word you said, every wrong action you made..

just to perpetuate your pain.

we are sometimes masochistic, aren't we.

we know there's no point dwelling on things. dwelling won't improve the situation, really.

but sometimes.. during a certain night you just want to dwell.

tonight i'm not gonna complain. but wait, i think i already have.

such a pain.

mix tape.

4:24 PM

i'd give anything to be able to leave on a jet plane now. i'm serious! though unsure of the destination.. anywhere's fine with me. ok as long as it's not a place where i can't speak the language.

didnt get the placement for exchange (because NTU has too little foreign contacts or my GPA sucked too badly). my roomie and suhui got the placements(: but that means it's gonna be a lonely next sem for me.
daniel not staying.. jianhao not staying.. derrick might not be staying.. yiiyin and yongjie graduate..
I AM LEFT FRIENDLESS. ok that's assuming i can get a hall next year. HAHA.

never mind. we'll see how that works out.

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i recently joined a facebook group called "LOVE, The Hemingway Project"
FYI, Ernest Hemingway is very famous author. i've never read any of his works but i've heard of him.

he said one of his greatest love stories was made up of just 6 words:

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn."

at first glance you might feel bewildered. how can anyone manage to write a story in just SIX words? what happened to the baby? why were the shoes never worn?
could it be still birth?

my first interpretation was..

somewhere sometime there was a young couple who was very much in love. they were both not well-off, but lived comfortably. one day the girl discovered that she was pregnant. both were not prepared for the pregnancy. the boy was 20 and the girl was 17. she told him the news with such fear and trepidation she almost broke down. and the boy was in shock too. but in a split second he cradled her face in his hand.. telling her how happy he was to hear he was going to become a father.
he could barely contain his excitement. the very next day he rushed into town to get a pair of baby shoes for his unborn child. "blue.. or pink?" he couldn't decide as he didn't even know his baby's gender! and so he decided to go with the most neutral colour, white. which also stood for purity and grace, among other things.
as time went by, the girl's stomach grew bigger, and she subjected to scorn and contempt by the others. these others.. who thought they were so pure, so high and mighty. such saints they thought themselves to be.
she quit school, and the boy did too. to work and earn money in preparation for raising a baby. since their parents have more or less disowned them in fear of this young couple bringing shame to their families.
the girl needed support, but could find none in the boy's arms. he was always too busy, rushing in and out of town to run errands for rich merchants and traders. he loved her so much he was willing to suffer anything. but he didn't know that the girl would gladly trade a diamond ring for more quality time spent just sitting beside him.
but one day the girl got tired of this. all she knew was, she could not stay in that town anymore. she left.
where she went, nobody knew.
overwhelmed by grief.. the boy put the baby shoes up for sale. no, he was not really thinking that anyone would buy it. it was just an act of commemorating and perhaps perpetuating the pain of finding and losing two people which he held so dear.

or you could interpret the second part as still birth.. which would be equally tragic.

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anyway i'm done writing for today.

finally, laid eyes on.. something special.

that's my six word love story. have a go too! (:

he's just not that into you.

2:21 AM

i just bought a self-help book. yet again. (i was inspired by tongtong :P)

it's titled: He's Just Not That Into You

(it's now a major motion picture which will be screened soon!)

to summarize, it's the no-excuses truth to understanding guys.

and it's a book which tells you to assume the WORST.

some stuff i learnt:

1. he's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. -because, trust me, if he likes you, he will.

2. Men like to pursue women, but they don't like to be pursued.

3. He's just not that into you if he's not calling you. -men know how to use the phone.

4. No matter how busy a man is, he will call the girl/woman he loves. -they've got their priorities.

5. Don't be with someone who doesn't do what they say they are going to do.

6. if you can find him, he can find you. if he wants to find you, he will.

7. Better than nothing is not good enough for you.

8. if i like you, i don't forget you. ever. (which includes: i wont forget to call, i wont forget to say "thank you", i wont forget your birthday.... and the list goes on.)

9. if you feel the need to start "figuring him out", please consider the glorious thought that he might not be that into you. And free yourself to go find the one that is. (:

10. and and, finally, don't waste the pretty! (:

ahhah and the rest of the book.. is not relevant to me.

why waste your time/youth obsessing over a guy who's not that into you? you deserve that phonecall. or someone else.

i would recommend this incredibly funny book to my girlfriends.. but most of them are happily in love (: which is great. so i can have this book all to myself!

P.S: one of the authors of this book is an ultra sweet guy. even when he's super busy at work, he takes time to make a phonecall to his wife just to tell her that although he's REAL busy and can't chat for long, he misses her and wants her to know that. (: awwww

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im giving myself 7 days to become a new person.

-seven days to learn something new.

-seven days to have a huge revelation

-seven days to stop finding excuses.

-seven days to prioritize.

-seven days to change my perspective of things

-seven days to stop living in misery

-seven days to take control of my life

-seven days to become a better person

-seven days to let go of things i've been carrying for way too long.

-seven days to re-organize my life.

-seven days to be happier than seven days before.

(: and by the way, my dearest el nino torres scored TWO fabulous goals for liverpool against CHELSEA HAHA.

certainly lightened my spirits.