take time to realize.

12:13 AM

if i don't care..
why do i feel so down?

-----------

and now.. who can i trust?
i keep getting the feeling that people are trying to do me in.
somebody hates me.
and wants me dead.
i dont want to die so early.
but luckily ive bought life insurance from hsbc.
if anyone is interested in investments or insurance policies frm hsbc pls tell me. HAHA.

life in the office has been.. weird. =/
VERY weird.
ive become lazy recently. probably sick of the campaign. i want to try something new.
this has always been a big problem of mine. my ultra short attention span.
and now it's bringing me down..

-----------

Take time to realize,

That your warmth is.

Crashing down on in.

Take time to realize,

That I am on your side

Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.

But I can't spell it out for you

,No it's never gonna be that simple

No I cant spell it out for you..

life is too short for unhappiness.

11:24 PM

I NEED A LIFE.
hmmm. i have lots of unfulfilled wishes.
and i need time to fulfil them.

[ ] learn street jazz at O-school
[ ] have time to tidy & re-decorate my room
[ ] go for a proper class outing! :D
[ ] spend time with my bff dorothy
[ ] complete at least 2 more sketches before i get busy for uni
[ ] spend time with 7`11

should i name my daughter amber or summer?
HAHAHA.
if my future husband has the surname "Lee" i'd name her HAPPY!
happy lee. happily. aiyah
ok im so lame. haha.

i think summer's a nice name. summer tay. summer day.
HAHA. ok whatever. im being SO random.

today i was thinking about something kg said to me. life's so short..
live it meaningfully and happily.
what i added to this was:
yeah, dont make yourself unhappy. don't do things which make you unhappy.
dont torture yourself. life's too short for all this. live, love, learn, laugh.

eat as much nice food as you can while you still have teeth;

listen to great music before you become hard of hearing;

appreciate beautiful sights and beautiful people before your vision is obscured;

travel to as many places as you can before your legs fail you;

help as many people as you can before your pocket becomes empty;

support your loved ones and give them warmth before you grow frail and weak;

give as much love as you can.. while you still can.

and while your loved ones are still around.

but where do i go frm here?

to one of my dearest friends:

12:47 AM

suddenly feel like blogging after i read wenjie's post.
lately ive been feeling estranged from the class.
only wensheu initiates a convo once in a while.
and kg too.
once in a long long while. and we speak like 5 sentences each time. -_-

besides my heavy work commitments which have disallowed me to go out with the class, there have been underlying currents of tension too.
------------

maybe it's my fault for being stubborn, headstrong and unreasonable.
but i have always put friendship above all, deep down in my heart.
although i always say angsty things, it is to hide my weakness and embarrassment.
some people.. clearly do not feel the same.
i honestly dont care about how you see me. how you say i have done things that you cannot accept.
wait, i lied. i do care. still do.

how about you? do you honestly think i can accept everything you do?
like blocking me on msn?
like hiding things from me when i tell you everything?
hahhahaha. i try to find excuses for this friend. i try to think she's overseas or that her internet is down.
but her posts on livejournal have not stopped at all..
"oh, she rarely comes online anyway."
another weak attempt to cover for this friend. but what is there to cover?

i have been hit with the cold hard truth.
am i.. not worth it?
i made the effort to 'patch up' with this friend..
i made the effort to separate the 2 matters.
i made the effort not to appear hurt although i honestly am hurting inside..
i would rather not talk to him at all, and still retain our friendship.
what do you want me to do?
i am not blind, nor deaf, nor unfeeling. as much as you have feelings and emotions, arent i not human too?

my friend, i still regard you as my friend.
my eyes still tear as i am typing these words. images of those happy times we had together keep flashing back in my mind.
and my heart hurts badly.
but clearly, a long time ago, you have denounced my status as your friend.

and now i look at my msn messenger..
thinking whether i should delete you too.
it's less painful not seeing you on my list, than being reminded of the excruciating fact that our friendship is dead.
and every night it hurts once.
every night it hurts more.
but the sinking feeling that you don't really feel this as deeply as i do, (or maybe that you do not feel it at all), hurts me most.

----------------

i never wanted it to be this way.
maybe i am really not worth it, then.

optimism or perspective?

12:12 AM

"learn to love rejections."
we exist because our clients simply aren't good at rejection management! (:

---------------

optimistic.
oh well, been feeling all out of sorts these days. i NEED sleep.
and i need a few hours to do a new sketch. or i'll be out of touch with sketching altogether.

im not asking for a lot..
am i?

i just want the chance to slack at home for a few hours..
being worry-free (:

cause it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time.

(:

1:06 AM

we finally hit the criteria! :D

thanks to all the hard work frm ascentians and cesca!

--------------

i really love my team! we're like 1 big family. thanks for never giving up on me:D

although it did get a bit difficult at times, we pulled through it.
so yeah,
FINALLY :D

---------------

-looking forward to the ownership promotion next! :D-

sigh. but this week i feel so lousy. stupid throat. why do i have to fall sick at this time -_-