my confession

7:52 PM

it seems that every step i take is a mistake.
every blog entry i post..
every word i say..
every action i make..
is under such great scrutiny..
and in the end..
they are misread.
i'm misunderstood.

maybe i should just stop talking.
i should stop doing anything.
to avoid further misunderstanding.

but still, here i am, posting this entry.
which will probably be under scrutiny, and misread once more.
but i have absolutely no ill intentions, and i beg you to concur.
and i'm so jaded. i'm willing to take a risk.
all i ask for, is your understanding, and forgiveness.

i'm filled with guilt, yes i know.
but more still, i'm filled with remorse.
and im filled with sadness..
i always thought i was the easiest person to understand because i'm an open book.
i lay all my emotions out in the open.
i thought honesty was the best policy to everything..

i admit i let anger get the better of me.
jealousy, maybe.
or it was pity, at my sorry life.
but that was ages ago.
people change. as like their opinions and their thinking.
it's just like the econs case study. it's all about timing.
the wrong policy at the wrong time ; the wrong interpretation at the wrong time.

im wearing my heart on my sleeve; for you to see.
but also, for daws (silly birds) to peck at. for i am, not what i am.

i never meant to hurt anybody.
ever.
really.
it's so out of my control, really.

i treasure this.. more than you could ever feel it coming from me.
it means a lot to me.
though i don't show my feelings much nowadays.
how did i become like this?
i can't even cry.

and this is the end of my confession.