keeping it real..

11:32 PM

i keep pushing you away..
but believe me, it's for your own good.

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blocks have been rather screwed up till now.
complacency..
hate it, can't help it.
or maybe it's laziness.
ok fine it's laziness. sigh.

it hurts.

11:09 PM

if there's one thing i hate, it's people asking me to shut up.
i don't think i've ever asked anyone to shut up.
oh well. ok fine i hate people saying that i'm stupid too.

-----------

sigh. been going through a pretty rough patch these few days.. some latenight emo.
it must be pms. or it must have been the baileys. haven't cried in a long time. guess alcohol really has its effects on me.
i know i may appear to be obnoxious and headstrong but who knows what im feeling beneath that impudent front? who knows what i'm really feeling? no one. i agree with one of my girlfriends -- i dislike people saying that they know me. or people thinking that they know what im thinking. that it's easy to see through me. yes, i am an open book. but you may be reading the wrong pages at the wrong times. do you know that?
i often hurt the people i care most about. i dislike myself for doing this. always. it's like a natural reflex. i cant help it. it's not like i enjoy it. it hurts me too. im no sadist nor masochist.
it's been a long time since i locked myself in the toilet. it really sucks.
sucks to be so emotional.

it'll go away.. it'll go away.
(and im not deluding myself.)

post-birthday withrawal!

12:10 AM

APOLOGIES!

I'VE BEEN A LAZY KID.
hahha. haven't found the time and the gutso to publish a good long blog entry.
okay maybe i just don't like my blogskin. =/

it's 19th june! 5 days past my birthday. it was one of the best birthdays ever (:

i'd like to thank many many people for wishing me happy birthday either thru SMS or friendster!
seriously just a simple "happy birthday!" can brighten up my day.

THANKYOU:

(not in any order)

Dorothy
Algernon
Yushan
Yushun
Deren
Yanrong
Elaine
Jialin
Zeehui

Chinpei
Kimmin
Mingming
Kangyu
Jianglui
Kokleong
Guowei
Serena
Juliza (all the way frm canada!)
Zixuan

Feric
Yichun
Yeowlin
Weichung
Yongxian
Puayhian
Wenjie
Peishan
Dunjie
Jiahao
Samuel
Yaoguang
Shimeng
Eeloong
Daphne
Selwyn
Pricilla
Brian, Calvin (although i don't know you 2!)
Jupiter
Kat

Xuehao
Doris
Tina
Jireh

Nicholas Chan
Xingyu

Leeza

Tongtong

Yida

Jan

Jay

Ben Tan

Peiyu

Yanzhi

Cheejia

Feric

Kwang Guan

Ruiyuan

Tifen

Waihong

Junquan

Xinyi

Pengsing

Lili

Mum

Dad

yay i thinkkkk that's all. (:

if i missed someone out im terribly sorry>.<

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AS USUAL (but i don't take yall for granted!!), my dearest friends dorothy mingming and kimmin surprised me at my doorstep at midnight with a cake!

fruit + vanilla cake this year!(: happy.

thankyou all soo much for doing it every year. its really really touching!

some of my dearest CLASSMATES surprised me the next morning at my house! i don't know how they managed to find my ulu flat hahah but still, they did! (:

and they saw what a mess my house was. you guys haven't seen the worst of it. if my best friend didn't help me pack my bed + shelves, you all would have the shock of your lives (ok fine you all might already have.) -sheepish look-

i got a small strawberry sweetheart cake! (: lovelove! my favourite kind of cake. i always buy the big one for people i love! like dorothy and my mum.

then we (classmates) went to watch a movie at LIDO! it's been ages since i've been there. luckily we got the biiiig cinema. fantastic four for the second time. (watched with pris the first time) hmmm. i fell asleep but oh well, it was still good. as long as everyone else is happy im happy! (:

we took neoprints! yay! will post pictures someday. when shan has scanned them :P

then at night i went to meet my LOVELIEST girlfriends (SEVEN ELEVEN!!) for dinner at....

CRYSTAL JADE. again.

we always eat there. so budget (: but i like! hahah.

xiao long baos yay!

they got me an uber cute paul frank tote which i use as my toiletries bag. just what i needed. though it wasn't what i expected, but who cares! (: it's from my dearest girlfriends!

we wanted to go eskibar after dinner but we were dressed way too shabbily! so we went to TCC instead. didn't drink alcohol though. $_$ i was broke! hahah. oh well. drank coffee at like 10 or 11pm. no wonder i didn't feel sleepy until 2am.

ignore the ugly swollen eyes hahah!

oh my just looking at the bald guy behind me i feel like eating crystal jade AGAIN.

yummy choco truffle cake frm swissbake(:

i love my friends. i really do.

i don't know what i would do without them. sometimes i don't know why i deserve so many good friends.. i'm a brat i am! but they are always so tolerant when i whine and emo.. always so caring when i get hurt..

always there for me though im self-obsessed and i talk too much sometimes.

i guess.. that's what friends are for(:

thankyouu.

lovin' my new shades.

SHORTISHAWT!

10:40 AM

I FINALLY CUT MY HAIR! (:

whee. i love my hairdressers.
they're very nice people.

YY

my eye's been giving me trouble lately.
so many brands of contact lens solution have been found to cause eye disease!
way scary. ):
i hope the new one im using doesn't gimme any trouble.
i want lasik!!!