[[ mothers' day special.

11:45 PM

Mothers' Day Special

you hang around me, searching for something to say.
i don't even look at you. i just keep looking at my computer.
you try to talk about things that interest me.. diets, movies and celebrities.
i find you irritating at times, talking nonsense all the time.
i groan when i see your picture on my cell phone,
"wensi where are youuuu?"
you ask about every guy that called me
you ask about every picture on my computer
you want me to get a boyfriend soon and bring him home..
sometimes i just don't give a damn.
you force me to drink bitter medicine and soup,
and when i don't, you beg.
i laugh at you for your shallow thoughts, i laugh at you for your old fashioned ways.
you always want to tag along on class outings,
how absurd, a mother following her daughter to meet her friends.
you love to sew clothes and make bags for me,
although i rarely ever use them.
whenever you nag at me for using the computer too long i just shout
"you're very noisy leh!"
and you almost immediately hush and go away.

i see the hurt in your eyes when i scream at you
you're just concerned about my health.
i know you put your heart into everything you do for me
you just want to be close to me,
to have greater participation in my life.
i know you're trying to be hip and cool,
you don't have to try so hard.
why beg me to do something good for myself?
it's not for yourself even.
i know you want me to be happy,
you want to know all my friends.
you want me to be safe from harm.
you know you can no longer shield me under your wing
because i'm taller than you now.
those mindless musings you make,
are actually words of wisdom i never take.
sometimes you just want to communicate.
i almost never reciprocate.
everything you do, you do it for me.
you just want the best for me.
you eat the leftovers so i can eat something nice.
you wash all the dishes, you cook all the meals.
you put up with my complaints of dirty dishes and salty fishes.
i never do appreciate you do i?

this mothers' day i didn't manage to say "i love you"
why am i such an idiot when it comes to expressing affection?
i could just give you a hug but i never do.
mom i wish you could read this.
what's the use, you won't be able to understand it.
one minute to the end of mothers' day.
how i wish i could make every day mothers' day,
so i'll realise i'm not a good enough daughter every single day.
blessed i am, with such a mother. blessed i am. (:

mom i love you and i hope you know it although i never show it.

*erps. it's not a poem. -_- no stanzas. yupp.