[[ ignorance

7:21 PM

it's getting dark now.. my flip flap stops flapping..
i didn't turn on the lights.. it's good to be kept in the dark sometimes..
it's good not to know sometimes..
it's good to be ignorant sometimes..
and that sometimes is NOW.

i enjoy being in the dark. it makes me feel so solitary. so.. alone.
even more alone than i usually feel.
which makes me feel both happy and sad inside.
death.. brings resurrection too.

yar someday it'll be my turn. but i don't wanna die early.
AH. WHAT IS THIS CRAP. LOL.

im seriously losing my marbles.

peaceout:

[[ fu ck.

1:22 AM

i don't know who to turn to now.
talking to someone who indulges in self pity isn't helping much.
and xuehao is damn dao now. in fact he's been very dao lately. okay. damn zibei liao.

if you think u're so capable, volunteer to be the welfare rep. I QUIT.
life sucks.
i can't start crying now. i'd be so damn weak.
and that's what i don't wanna be.
okay maybe everyone hates me. so what? i still have my friends.
i love myself. that's all that matters.
i have so much angst inside me it's unreal.
if i say i don't care about what other people think of me, hell yeah i'm lying.
this is hell. save me from this life.
maybe other people are starving in another part of the world.. probably 50% of the world is much worse off than me. my problems are so insignificant compared to other unfortunate people. i am so fortunate i shouldn't complain so much. this makes me feel so much better. =)

where is everybody.
where am i?
where do we go from here?

peaceout):

[[ love!

1:24 AM

L.I.E

Love Is Everything. Love Is not Evil.
I used to think that love was a hoax after i got dumped by my ex-boyfriend. There's always heartbeak at the end of any relationship. However, i don't detest love like some people do. Some people take revenge on the people they love. simply because their "love" is not reciprocated. this is not "love". love doesn't have to hurt to feel good. lol. *quotes xuehao*
love waits.. love is not impatient. love never gives up. i kinda changed my view about love after the workshop conducted by jerry ong.. love doesn't die even if it gets rejected. a part of it still lives on unconditionally.
love makes people human. love makes people happy. love makes the world go round.

some time ago i was like:
love sucks. love hurts. love is nothing but bullshit. love is nothing but a waste of time, money and effort. you don't get anything in return. all you get is heartbreak. love sucks!!!

den now i realise.. i didn't know how to love.
i must learn how to love someday. i hope.
________

ok anyway that was some random ramblings i had on valentines day. lol. lonely lonely v-day for me again~ but nvm. i dun really care..
dunjie asks me to update.. so here i am.
and im going to do chem tutorial. i hope.
peaceoutt((:

[[ opti.

1:10 AM

chatting with kangyu makes me feel so much happier. he's describing his bed to me. he spends money buying those kind of hotel blankets and big fluffy pillows to make his bed more comfy. so cute lar! =D
he keeps asking me to be more optimistic.. talking to him makes me rather optimistic lar. cannot sigh.. cannot say sian.. lol. so xinku. but it's ok. im happier already.
i should be more optimistic. thanks deren and kwang guan for the encouragement. im gonna be a changed person soon.
i need more time. =)

[[ should have known better.

11:09 PM

you are just like the others. i should have known better.

______peaceOUT.

[[ dying

11:08 PM

i got hit lightly on the hand by the door that day. pain.
i hit my shin on the lecture table in some LT. pain.

now i have 2 bruises.
why do i get hurt so easily. i wish i were a tougher person.
i wish i can play volleyball without shunning the ball. i really can't play volleyball lar. my bones will break.
argh this sucks. i am so weak. damn.
i look sick 24/7.
well.. that's a good thing sometimes.
went to watch girls play today. sigh. dunno anyone there lar. lol. talked a bit to gibson. lixuan's erzi. lol. dix thinks im despo. pls lar he's younger than me. -.-
the econs proj is KILLING ME

SOMEBODY SAVE MY LIFE. pleaaaaaaaase.

[[ everytime i try to make you smile
you're always feelin sorry for yourself.

[[ i not stupid too!!!

11:46 PM

I NOT STUPID TOO IS A MUST-CATCH!!! =DD

i cried like siao while watching. it's soo meaningful lar. kimmin and i were weeping like little girls. lol.

go watch.. it's really good lar. (: trust meeee.