[[ heh.

10:06 PM

jialin. stop talking about *********. =)
i wonder if u are in love with him. LOL.
i helped jialin add her tagboard on her blog. everyone go visit her blog!! sweet melancholy.
an oxymoron. just like loving hate.
hahha today i did some hardcore shopping with jialin. i bought this REALLY cute crown necklace. the crown pendant can also be a brooch. omg. way cute. BLING BLING.
i am a crown fetish. =)))
and i bought a really weird bead bracelet. the beads are HUGE. no they are not beads. they are like baby coconuts lor. colorful =) beachwear.
muahha. and i bought some necessities for school. hair clips(black) and a dark purple hairband. ming bought rubberbands and a hairband. she's gonna tie her hair next year!!! so cute.
and i bought a shirt frm puremilk. since got 25% discount for members.. bu mai bai bu mai! =)
my mum bought 2 shirts today. damn nice but dirt cheap. 4 bucks each. i was like -_-"
i bought some real cute charms to hang on earrings. very ke aiii. and 1 pair of earrings each for me and jl. jl bought her bag. black quiksilver. mine is grey quiksilver. we're gonna exchange bags LOL. i advised her to buy pink acrylic paints to paint the white letters pink. she's rather open to the idea so we're gonna do just that. =) and we're gonna make coffee paper tml. -_-"
wonder how disastrous it's gonna be.
tml we're going to escape themepark. she has 2 free tix and they expire tml. so we're gonna go. =))) WHEE.

school's gonna start soon. i hope everything goes well for me and for all my friends. =) i'm so gonna miss RV. but i'm veh evil. everytime see RV juniors i say: EEEE RV =PpP joking joking.
haaai. there are several phases in life.. as kozun said, friends come and go..

i have one definite "friends until we die" friend... i've known her for like almost a decade.=) cheerups dor! good frens grow together, in terms of looks and personality. u should see how alike we looked in pri school. omg. BLEAHHHHHH.
hahaha. dun be sad over someone who doesn't deserve you..

and to all my other best friends.. i hope we'll be friends until i die. forever is an overstatement.
how long is forever? there is no definite time frame. forever = everlasting time, eternally..
since no one can live forever.. how can love live forever.. how can friendship exist forever.. how can....
hahah. i dislike people who abuse the word forever.. most ppl in love say: i will love you forever and ever~~ but they break up eventually. hahha. forever is a lie.
forever only exists in fairytales..

when we grow up fairytales go POOF. why put so much faith into anything? hahah. ok this is my personal opinion.. i am a cynical person. was not. but now i am. i can be gullible sometimes.. but i hope i become more cynical (skeptical of human motives).. so i won't get hurt so easily. =))

take care everyone.

[[ zZZzZzz

10:09 PM

i am not pissed. i am hurt and sad too.
does anyone understand how i feel now?
nooo.
i feel like blah now.
BLAH.
BLAH.
BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
nvm. i just wanna say, i love my friends. but loving them doesn't mean we don't argue. loving them doesn't mean we don't have differences. loving them doesn't mean we don't disagree. loving them doesn't mean we don't hurt one another.
loving is a form of hurting, hurting is a form of loving.
i just want all my friends to know that whatever evil things i said about you, it was just the spur of the moment. i offer my most sincere apologies.
blah. i dun think i'm in the mood to say anything anymore.
if i go play gunbound now i think i will keep losing. lol. suan le.
nvm lah. i'm okay. i'm always okay. double double double double double okay.

12:08 AM

finally, this is ME! zi-pai-ing away with casper's fone. poor casper. lol. i love the effect this pic has. =)

12:07 AM

me and dorothy looking sweet for the camera again. =) i love casper's phone. i love this pic.

12:06 AM

boonshing and me. wallau his face so close, scared me. errmmm boonshing is still as cute but no specs lah. den... still as crude. LOL. ummmm but still fun. he's a bit taller than me!

12:04 AM

me and casper the friendly ghost~ haha. well he has very bad skin now. he used to have flawless skin. ummm his specs vv cute and he changed his hairstyle. =)

12:04 AM

lol. chenliang borrowed my phone to take this pic. *surprise surprise*

12:03 AM

me and jeremy! his hair is cooler now. brown with gold highlights, dun play play. and his skin is still as FAIR and flawless. eeek. i am SO jealous. =(

12:02 AM

me and chunkang! he hates taking pictures. too bad, i love taking pictures. ok he hasn't changed one bit too. still as guailan. LOL.

12:01 AM

me and chenliang! hahah. he is.. still the same lah. we're in the same school so i can't detect much of a drastic change. he's acting innocent here. trust me, he's not! LOL.

12:00 AM

yuxiang! hmmmm not much of a change. still as kuku as ever =P

12:00 AM

me and kevin! aHHHhhhh. he's still as uncle as ever. and we're gonna be schoolmates next year! omgomg. dot. he's still really UNCLE. really.

11:59 PM

me and lingfang! nv change at all. except hairstyle. she's still as nice.

11:59 PM

me and earnest. lol. we're like two spas. but i like this pic. he hasn't changed much.. but his hairstyle is WAY cool. =) the side is cool. he's still as act cool as ever. lol.

11:58 PM

ah. zitian. he hasn't changed one bit. eeek. he looks funny here. i think he loks like mr. bean. =D

11:56 PM

us at ECP bowling centre! with mrs. IRENE YEW. =D earnest had to leave early. aw.

[[ sian

2:41 PM

261205::
went to East Coast Park with my ex-primary school mates.
yeah 6/1 rocks. i took fotos with all the ppl who went. =D and the guys were so enthu in taking pics. whee. =D even earnest! lol.
shall update the photos maybe tonight or tml cuz my dad can't find his memory card reader and i can't find my USB cable. -.-
______

kimmin is at chalet. ju is at chalet. dorothy is working. even my new friend is in malaysia. lol.
ok mingming is free. hahahahhaha.
hmmm shall i go watch grand finale later? lijie ask me go watch leh, but it's sooo far.
shall clear out my wardrobe now. since i hav nth to do. gunbound hahahah. i keep losing. bah. shan't play.
i guess i have to go find sth to do. tata.

_______

[[ i don't believe in anything

anymore.//

[[icky.

2:12 AM

my hands are covered with superglue.

you know how icky it feels? and pain too. =(

that's how far i go to make this christmas special for 7`11

[[ you're never here____

hea rt.

1:02 AM

jinhui ugly as usual. =P damn big earring. mine bigger than urs. bleh!

1:02 AM

siongwei the big teeko!!!

1:01 AM

siqi with her new specs. lol.

1:00 AM

xuankai wearing king kong shoes. =) way cute.

1:00 AM

ju's new haircut. x)

12:58 AM

the christmas gifts i made for seven-eleven. we rock. i rock too. =))

[[ zhanpeng!!! lol.

12:06 AM

hurray! =D rvtt senior zhanpeng is my new idol.
today the men's open team competition, shing wah vs SAFRA red. they play until 2:2
last singles was our rvtt senior! ahhhh. =)) his backhand sooo pro.
wheee. i was so impressed. practically jumping up and down. lol.
SAFRA RED won~~
actually bernard also damn pro lah. he wan the ball go left, the ball goes left. he wan the ball topspin den topspin. ahh. he practically has total control. and he's damn guailan. lol.
yepps. i hope next time rv still can produce such talent.. although it's not very possible liao..
haaaiyo. -.-
____
what should i do now? rather bored. haven't started on any christmas presents yet. but i so pro, sure can finish by friday lah hor? lol. i found some felt at home today. i think i can use the felt. hahaha got soo many colors. hmm. contrasting colors..
red and green
yellow and purple
blue and orange

complimenting colors..
green and blue
yellow and orange

ha. i still remember my color wheel. =))
tml i'm going shopping with kimmin. whee. =) i dun understand why everyone says king kong is nice. ah. i haven't watched a movie in months. my last movie was... chicken little in malaysia. lixuan watch king kong watch until cry. i told her i watch chick lil until cry she keep laughing at me. what the. cannot meh. *sob*
wah now 1 am liao. should go wash face le. SHE on tv now. whee. i love heeebe. =)

[[ schizophrenia.

2:10 PM

sian.
NO. i cannot begin with the word sian. or i'll feel sian.
HAPPY. =D i finally have a new friend.
GREAT!
LOL.
what should i do now? yah. blog about something.
=DD *BIG SMILE* later i shall go watch the SAFRA comp! YAY.
i FINALLY have something to do besides staring at the computer screen and then turning towards the window every 10 minutes to look at the GREENERY.
*turns towards the window*
green is supposed to be soothing.. how come i dun feel soothed?
*looks at my blue bed*
blue is supposed to make people feel sad.. well i feel sad most of the time.
*looks at my oversized yellow reebok teeshirt*
brrr. yellow is supposed to make people feel happy. how come this shirt only brings back sad memories?
*looks at my conversation window*
great. pink. =DDD
zZzzZz u must be thinking i am rather out of my mind to post such a meaningless entry..
well there is some meaning. i think. there is a reason for every action...
but sometimes i don't see reason in any of my actions.
STOP.
i am thinking too much again. if i go deeper i will go bang my head on the wall or something.
yeah i shall go practice how to smile in front of the mirror again. my plastic smile.
plastic life.
STOP.
stop being so pessimistic.
conclusion: wensi is schizophrenic.

[[ damn cold night

10:43 PM

_______*

in my dreams i am still walking along that familiar path with you. i tell myself: it will never happen to me again. but i still cry at night for the same damn thing.

lol. copy janice's nick. brrr. nv cry lah. i just... feel this emptiness within me. i feel so hollow yet so heavy. airless. i feel so FEEBLE.

i drag my feet in the day.. i toss and turn in the night.. actually my mind is void of the sad memories.. but my meddlesome heart digs out the past events again.

i feel so aimless and bored every day. i just sleep.

won't someone tell me how to go about living this sad sad life.

------

bah
!!!

i must be CRAZY. hahaha.. life is beautiful. my life is not sad at all. i am happy.

i just need some new direction in life. hee. sometimes i think i think too much. and i make myself miserable. lol. being simple minded sometimes is good relaxation for the mind. i am FEEBLE. i have rheumatism. i am WEAK. lols.

should i go watch the comp tml? yeah i should. better lemme see that auntie who complained about us. wah i explain everything nice nice to her and smiled she say i no manners? pui. she dunno what is no manners i'll show her next time. -_-" poor lixuan got scolded for side coaching when she was keeing her mouth shut lorh. mothers. *big sigh*

[[ it's a damn cold night

trying to figure out this life_________

[[ ahhhhh. again.

11:04 PM

lol. was sooo looking forward to the competition today leh. cuz very long nv play competition liao. den i haven even play my team out liao. LOL.
they say pimple got more advantage.. sooo put kimmin go and play lah. the opponent rather strong lah. her defence not bad. kimmin could have won if she whacked the ball harder. nvm. let's jiayou! =))
umpired mr. pang tau chai today and found him nice too. he and his three sons all got the same hair leh. lol. straight and smooth one. i guess genetics really play a part. xuankai is sad cuz his hair is curly. lol. nvm lah, mine oso curl.
tml got umpiring again.. very sian ar. hope my contacts dun gimme trouble tml.
*chants: i will see all the net ball and ca1 bian1. i will sit up straight.*
i think i'm a bit too serious liao. lol. weiquan says i'm a bundle of nerves when i wear the STTA shirt. i agree. it's a big responsibility lor. grrr. but i love my job. =) i hope i'm not kayu tml. nvm. got jialin more kayu than me. *evil laughter** x))
kimmin ar. dun appeal out of hc lah. grrr. we must join hctt together de. why u leave me alone. u win liao lor.

[[ and all i wanted was somebody who cared_______

[[ bored.

4:33 PM

hahah. just came back from TT chalet. ok not just lar. a few hours ago. i flopped onto my bed at 12:30 pm after watching some kids central cartoon entitled winx club. lol. i am full of tong zhen.

TT chalet was..... fun. but we only had one small pathetic room at downtown east. omg omg omg. rvtt so big lah. book one room. jason!!!! grrr. we had to take turns to sleep. the beds could hold 9 people lah. den usually someone sleeps on the floor. poor thing! wallau i always get scolded by ppl for sleeping too much. ESPECIALLY WEIQUAN! hurmph. i only fell asleep after 5:30am lor. i know cuz i heard someone send me a message at 5:35am. and i was deliberating whether to go reply it cuz i couldn't fall asleep anyway.

i've been umpiring the SAFRA championships for the past 2 days. it's hard work, especially for a noob umpire like me. wahhhh. sibei jialat. first match i umpired was guowei's. counted the score wrongly. however he was rather nice and said thank you at the end of it lah. den the next match was xuehao's. again my slow brain found it hard to process the scores lah. den he had to remind me of the score. hahaha thank you very much=). he seems like a nice guy.

and i really have a problem with seeing whether the ball brushes across the net. lol. or whether the ball hits the white line. grrr. and the place ar, no blockers in between the tables. the balls keep on rolling into the playing area. grrr. and i have to say "let", "let" and "let" again. the players look at me with a pissed off face as if it's my fault. -_-"

hahahha my fave team to umpire was xinmin. cuz i know them.. umpired them in the B division championships. hahah there's this really cute boyboy. ng jian wei. yesh. =)) however, in the match between xinmin and hwachong "A", i sufferred like siao lah. they play almost every match 3:2, den the big score was 3:2 oso. so i took a VERY long time to finish. i finished last, in fact. thankyou xuankai for sitting behind me to wait for me to finish. kimmin's fave umpire yushun said i was slow and was reluctant to give me the money. grrr. act cute lah he. i desperately need money now. ahhhh. hope i can umpire top 10. that way i can earn more money. but zhiyuan say the places all filled up le. *sobs*

now i have become more pro at umpiring le lah. except the coin flipping part. -_-" haaai.

me and jialin veh fa hua chi leh. i oso buey tahan myself. we can do without guys. yesh. =) love doesn't have to hurt but it usually does.. being too serious in anything isn't good. especially relationships. yeah maybe i'll meet someone who can break down the walls i have built around myself. i hope i do.

well actually it's very easy to do so lah. i'm very gullible and i just believe anything anyone says lah. so the walls i have built around my heart are actually a facade. haha. i'm so stupid. nvm. double ok. i veh strong one. lol.

what a long entry. phew. i'm going back to my tv. i love my tv. and myself. and no one else. x)

[[ i tear my heart open

i sew myself shut

my weakness is that i care too much

the scars remind us that the past is real

i tear my heart open

just to feeeeel.

[[ miss world

12:00 AM

hahahhaa. i love myself~

wheee. watching miss world. miss iceland won. i couldn't understand the english miss korea spoke. but anyway. beauty=makeup. lol. sometimes.

beauty is just skin deep. i hope miss iceland does something constructive for the world. =) and not just say "i want world peace" while keeping her perfect smile and posture.

i hope she can be clad in a grubby teeshirt and jeans, doing community work in third world countries. i hope she embraces sick children and is willing to fight for human rights.

i hope miss world does many many things for the world because she wants to, not because she is forced to.

that's what miss world is about. miss world is not about smiling and saying world peace, or about skimpy swimsuits and gorgeous tiaras.

hhhahha. i feel so jaded.

shall go call my table tennis mates and discuss the chalet tml. ah. i have found work. hahaha. umpiring at the SAFRA championships. damned sunsports guy u better dun say i'm kayu behind my back. say it in front of me.

good luck quan and xk! thrash sunsports C.

hahhaha i hope i umpire xinmin sec. =)) there's this real cute boyboy in the team. hahahh how i wish i had a brother like him.

green is mahhh lucky color. yayyy.

pink specs rawk.

digressing. fine. tataaa.

[[ i'm not sure what this could mean

i don't think you're what u seem

i do admit to myself

that if i had someone else

then i'd never see just what we're meant to be//

[[ financial crisis. big time.

11:50 PM

hmmmm.
xuankai's ghost friend, please go away. i do not wish to play with you. i am so suey. haaai. now really veh cham le lah. please return my retainer. (which costs 200 friggin bucks.) 0.O ok. i'm going bonkers. nvm.
i have to find work very soon.
soon. as in tomorrow. anyone's little brother or sister needs tuition? i can do english chinese emaths addmaths chem tuition~~ bahh. lame.
shall go find work at levi's.
hope yanrong's mum lets me go clean up her house. i've never done housework before. what can i do? i can't think of any job i'm suitable for. ermmmm.. how about entering essay writing competitions? grr. i can't run, i can't swim.. i can't carry heavy stuff.. i have a bad temper.. i can't stand fussy customers.. i have a lousy attitude... i think i can ask dexter help me buy 4D and pray that the number will come out lah. xk's ghost fren, better gimme some good numbers tonight. lol.
grrr. enuff of joke. i must work hard le.
thanks to all my friends who have offered help in one way or another.
i will not forget to return ming's mum 100 bucks.
quotes boxer: i will work hard.

[[ to what extent?

10:29 PM

suddenly you're friendly again. you make me soo surprised. how should i react?

can i pretend that nothing has happened before and still joke and have fun with you like before? i'm still hostile. don't blame me. you hurt me hard. very hard.

we appear to be friends, but to what extent? (quotes yanrong)

there's still some psychological barrier somewhere.. time heals wounds.. but to what extent? how can you be so nonchalant and blame me for holding a grudge against you?

fuck. my mom's nagging at me. now i'm very broke. very very very broke and she's still nagging. fuck. i'm pissed. i hate arguing with her. fuck.

yes. whatever lar. i'm currently living a fucked up life. -_-"

zZzZzzz