profound beauty.

if it's wrong to do what's right

2011-09-16T01:31:00.002+08:00

being in a relationship is like flying a kite. you can't pull too hard on the string all the time. it'll snap. You can't give it too much slack always, cuz the kite will come plummeting down.

Flying this kite has been hard, but it has been enjoyable. i haven't learnt to give much slack... maybe it's time i learnt how to. if wanting to spend more time with the one you love is a crime, then i'm guilty.

hahah corny song lyrics from "guilty" by blue.

blogging on my new macbook pro! shuuuuper happy can't sleep! damn, only 6 more hours of sleep. MUST.SLEEP.NAOOOO.

goodnight world. another long day awaits.

Sweet misery

2011-09-02T16:40:00.002+08:00

How do you know when it's time to stop giving chances?

What's the final straw?

I love you but I'm letting you go... For now.

What are words?

2011-03-01T23:13:00.003+08:00

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I'll keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then that's all
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

---

Beautiful song. Makes me cry every time I hear it. Chris Medina is the reason I still believe in true love. I always thought true love only exists in movies. But when I saw how he's still sticking by his girlfriend who sufferred a really serious brain injury in a car accident, some of my cynicism chipped off.

Then again, he's an exception. The rule says otherwise.

I don't believe in words anymore. I only believe what I see. And I believe what I feel. What can I say, I have trust issues.

what does it take?

2011-02-15T20:45:00.002+08:00

feelings? or effort?

This conversation stems from a discussion with Bernard during a short car ride.

He says that in a relationship, you can't have "the feeling" every day. There will be one of those days where you just don't have the feeling of love for your boyfriend/girlfriend.

Therefore, instead of depending on feelings, a relationship is sustained by effort. You can't have the feeling forever.

It's okay to feel lazy to do something for him/her once in a while... But if you realise that you get lazy for too long/too often, it's the end of the road. ):

And what does it take for two people to be together? I really don't have a clue. Should it be effortless? Or should it be difficult. I always thought it would be effortless.

nth emo post.

2011-01-02T23:12:00.002+08:00

You can continue to think that i'm a shrewd little bitch, it's better that way.

And you're no good for me too cuz you're a liar and a cheat.

But i'm so so sorry, because all I wanted to be was good to you.

everything, everything ends.

2010-12-28T00:00:00.003+08:00

this post stems from a discussion i had with yushan last night.

is there such a thing as "the one"? Or is it just an unrealistic projection of what we want to believe? I guess if you believe that there is "the one", you'll never be satisfied. You'll never be content with what you have... And you'll always wonder.. "What if?"

That is real torture...

Everybody's changing. As corny as it sounds, change is the only constant in life. And people who cannot accept change are just escapists. Deep inside we are all escapists. We just don't admit it. We don't like to see change, we don't like to experience change, much less accept it.

And then we talked about compromise. I remember watching a movie called "Valentines Day" with Taylor Swift, Ashton Kutcher, Queen Latifa... All those big names in one movie.. Remember?? Ashton Kutcher got together with his best friend in the end. I think it happens quite a lot in movies but not in real life...

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to marry my best guy friend. (cept I don't have one.) It'll be a compromise in some ways, yet in other ways, it may be the best thing that could ever happen to you. Shan says it's about finding someone you can tolerate and live with the rest of your life. Sounds pretty sad, but it's the reality of life. Afterall, how long can you love somebody?

Everything, everything ends.

On life, betrayal, not love.

2010-11-28T01:26:00.004+08:00

If the only person you ever really loved betrayed you, it just shows how bad a judge of character you are.

And how damned silly you are.

You'd better make damn sure that you never ever open your heart to anyone again, just to get it trampled on.

That person didn't even have the decency to make things right. He is a coward who wants to think that everything is alright.

Well everything's fine, except for the fact that your heart doesn't beat anymore. The heart that used to beat only for him.

-------------------------

There's a somebody I'm longing to see
I hope that he
Turns out to be
Someone who'll watch over me.

And maybe then my heart will beat again.

Dear John

2010-11-24T00:10:00.002+08:00

Been two months since i posted?!?!? seriously.

Long were the nights
When the days once revolved around you
Counting my footsteps,
Prayin’ the floor won’t fall through, again
My mother accused me of losing my mind
But I swore I was fine

You paint me a blue sky and go back
And turn it to rain
And I lived in your chess game
But you changed the rules every day
Wonderin which version of you
I might get on the phone, tonight,
Well I stopped pickin’ up
And this song is to let you know why

Dear John,
I see it all now that you’re gone.
Don’t you think I was too young
To be messed with
The girl in the dress
Cried the whole way home
I shoulda known.

Well maybe it’s me
And my blind optimism to blame
Maybe its you and your sick need
To give love then take it away
And you’ll add my name
To your long list of traitors
Who don’t understand
And I’ll look back in regret
How I ignored when they said
"Run as fast as you can"

Terribly emo song. But it's exactly how I've been feeling since June last year.

Never trust.

shrouded by self-doubt

2010-09-23T13:11:00.003+08:00

If I tell the world,
I'll never say enough cause it was not said to you
And that's exactly what I need to do
If I'm in love with you

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere

-----------------------

There are always too many words left unsaid.

That day my 16 year old tutee told me I was naive and gave me advice about boys. FML. HAHAHHA.

But yeah, I guess I've always been living in a bubble. My own cosy bubble where I formulated many many theories about meeting the right person.

"But he's so ideal!"

"But he's nice in ways you all cannot see!"

Along the way I formulated many excuses for myself to once again be vulnerable. She calls me a tofu.

"Even if you want to be a tofu also must be fried tofu! Hard on the outside! So even if you're soft on the inside nobody knows!"

It makes quite a lot of sense. I am steamed - no, uncooked- tofu now. Constant self doubt just keeps haunting me again and again.

There are people who just aren't love-able or loveable. I probably belong to both those categories.

Love,
Me.

bags and books

2010-09-04T00:50:00.003+08:00

I have this friend who shared an analogy with me on Thursday.

There are 2 groups of people in RJC. (Nah I know you RJ peeps won't take offense) And we can liken these 2 groups to girls who own Chanel bags.

The first group worked really really hard to earn money + climb up the corporate ladder to afford themselves a Chanel bag. So we liken these people to those students who worked their asses off doing TYSes to get themselves a spot in RJC.

Well the second group - you guessed it - had their parents BUY them a Chanel bag. And we can liken this group to the people who either bought their way into the school, or got into the school through sports and they eventually screw up their academics anyway. He described these people as... well I wouldn't say the word here.

I told him I wanted to post his analogy on my blog, but it would probably piss many RJC people off. But the next minute I changed my mind. You see, the people who read this and feel angry, you probably belong to the second group. So I decided to. Just to provide some comic relief to my friends.

We then developed another theory. There has to be a third group. We wanted to be fair to the rich kids. The third group is the group who received a Chanel bag from their parents but later in life work really really hard to buy more and more Chanel/Miu Miu/LV/Gucci/___(insert brand) bags for themselves. These people deserve our respects. They're like rich kids who really work hard to get more and more awards/accolades for themselves.

So yeah, it's really interesting how we can link people with Chanel bags to people who go to elite schools. I don't deny that this happens in Hwa Chong too. I guess it happens in all elite schools. We just hope that more people move from the second group to the third group before it's too late.

Till next time, people! :)

god help me

2010-08-30T11:54:00.000+08:00

The world does not revolve around me.

a million little stars

2010-08-09T23:44:00.003+08:00

just a random thought:

if you knew that doing a certain something would be pointless, would you still do it just because you wanted to?

A classical scenario of deciding to go with your head or your heart..

I always think too much, but my personality tests show I'm a feeler not a thinker.. So I'm kinda stuck, huh?

by the way............. had an awesome time at ju's party! (this blog needs to liven up with some pictures!)

okay actually just one. :)

same old story

2010-07-30T00:59:00.004+08:00

Everytime i do something bad i'm gonna put a "-" in the space below. Let's see how many of these I accumulate in 1 year...

Starting from 30 July 2010:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Letters I never sent: Volume 1

2010-06-16T22:58:00.003+08:00

because the truth hurts so much you just want to bury them in a shoebox locked safely away in a cupboard. but no matter how safely you lock that box away, you know you still can't lock that wild heart up.

-----------

The Claustrophobia

I was always claustrophobic, but I never understood how bad it was until i was in the same lift as you, alone.
I must have been suffocated by the 10 thousand different things I wanted to say to you, because not a single word fell from my lips.
I didn't dare to breathe, neither did you. Because we were afraid to break the beautifully painful silence.
We were finally alone together, yet still, so alone.

A mindblowing dining experience

2010-05-19T21:33:00.012+08:00

HI people!

I'm here to blog about my wonderful dining experience at the Tippling Club at Dempsey Hill.

My boss Derrick kindly invited me to join him and his Wharton professor Zif, along with Eta (a beautiful lady who's in Singapore to do a masters' course at Insead Business School AND she was a former Goldman Sachs trader) and Joseph, a professor in NUS.

We had quite a hard time trying to find the place, but it was worth it.

When I stepped into the restaurant, I honestly wasn't expecting anything much. The decor was simple and modern, and the kitchen (open concept with transparent glass walls) looked like a chemistry laboratory with loads of high tech equipment. There was a bar in the middle of the restaurant, and the ceiling was adorned with liquor bottles of all sorts.

So my first impression was -- Ah it must be a restaurant that's only known for mixology. But boy was I wrong.

We had cocktails before our dinner while waiting for Joseph. My daiquiri was absolutely sour, like pure acid, so please don't order daiquiri.

That aside, all of us went with the "Gourmand" menu which was a ten-course meal. I wanted so much to have just the five-course meal which was the "Classic", but the waitress recommended me to have the Gourmand so that I could have the same dining experience as the others. And I was glad I went with her suggestion. (I partly chose the "Classic" cuz I was trying to help my boss' prof save money. My eyeballs almost popped out of its sockets when i saw the prices)

So we had 3 champagne infused grapes to clear our palettes. It was the best grape I've ever ever had. I wonder how they infuse the champagne into the grape.. At first I thought maybe they just injected it, but I changed my mind when I saw what happened at the table later during our meal.

Course 1: Charred green peppers with Wasabi

The appetizer was charred green peppers with wasabi sauce. The wasabi was mixed with something else, i forgot what it was, but it was SO good. Slightly tangy, slightly spicy and salty, but not like any wasabi i've ever tasted. The charred green peppers looked really scary, but they tasted wonderfully like tempura. When i bit into it, it almost disintegrated into my mouth like ash, but it didn't taste charred at all. In fact, it was refreshing and surprisingly not as carcenogenic as i thought it would taste.

Cold soup with potato and caviar

The soup was filled in a glass spoon, with a potato cube and some caviar balanced on top. Notice I said "in". The spoon was specially designed so that we could suck the soup out of the spoon while we had the potato and caviar in our mouths. It was an explosion of flavour. Everything blended together flawlessly. I just wished there was more than 1 mouthful of soup :P

Calamari with squid ink

Ah, another dish that we had to suck. I was pretty apprehensive when I saw the dark squid ink. But when i sucked the squid ink and chewed the freshly fried calamari together with it, the flavour was just so good. It didn't taste fishy or anything. It was just savoury and absolutely delectable. Eta and I were trying so hard to suck what was left in the straw we looked retarded. HAHA.

Course 2: Chilli Crab

The chef's interpretation of the Singaporean chilli crab. It was made with spanner crab (which earned its name because it has pincers shaped like spanners). The dish was just.. OKAY. because the chilli wasn't really spicy.. and the crab was diced into small cubes.. so i couldn't really savour the unique texture that crab meat usually has.

Course 3: Escargot

It was my first time trying escargot. The ingredients were flew in from all around the world, and VERY fresh. The escargot was pan fried to crispiness (but was still really juicy inside), paired together with fresh asparagus puree. And I usually hate asparagus! The escargot was definitely one of my favourites.

Course 4: Foie Gras with apple

This dish had apple puree, granny smith apple slices and a caramelized gaufrette biscuit that was rolled up, together with the best foie gras puree ever. I once had foie gras puree and I was horribly grossed out by it. But this foie gras was awesome. The savoury taste combined with the sweet caramelized biscuit and the sour apple puree was amazing. Joseph said he liked this dish best.

Course 5: Kingfish

This dish had edamame beans, caramel infused soy tofu and black radish together with a piece of Kingfish that was cooked for 12 hours i think. It's either this or the crab that was cooked for 12 hours. This dish was fantastic. It was Eta's favourite. The fish had been flown in from Australia I think. The beans from japan...

Course 6: Vegetable garden

I must say, this is one of the most interesting dishes ever. As seen in the photo, there's soil (ok it's not really soil! it's actually porcini mushroom made to look like soil) sprinkled on top of a vegetable patch. It looked REALLY unappetizing hahhaha. And then the chef told us the garden was in winter, so he sprinkled some white truffle powder on top of the garden. And amazingly, the "snow" actually started melting before our very eyes! It was lovely. Beneath the vegetable patch (which we speculate was turnip), there were lots of flavourful vegetables. Yum.

Course 7: Surf & Turf

(Picture on left)

Surt & Turf obviously is a dish that combines what walks on land and what lives in the sea. In this case, it was lobster and beef. The beef was cooked for 48 hours. Honestly that really amazed me, but i didn't really like the texture of it. It tasted a bit like overcooked pig trotters. But the lobster made up for it. The lobster was cooked to perfection and VERY fresh. We also had some handpicked SEA GRAPES. haha. imagine green grapes that are shrunk to like 1/100 of its original size and in bunches. looks kinda like algae! But very delicious.

Course 8: Pre dessert: Champagne, muesli and raspberry i think

Honestly a super super nice dessert. It had crispy muesli in raspberry sauce, champagne and something that tasted like honey, but i'm quite sure it was some coagulated mixture or something prepared very scientifically. It was slightly fizzy because of the champagne, sweet because of the honey, and sour because of the raspberry. Very delectable.

Course 9: Basil Ice Cream with Aloe Vera

I honestly wasn't very happy with this dish. It was a dollop of Thai Basil (slightly spicy) ice cream on skippy peanut butter crumble. Yes skippy. We were amused. On the side, there were 3 cubes of aloe vera infused with Yuzu. A bit too sour for my liking. Very contrasting flavours which I didn't really appreciate.

Course 10: Chocolate

This was my FAVOURITE dessert. It was a huge piece of chocolate that was infused with orange. my FAVOURITE combination. dark chocolate with orange. it's the best. :) it as crispy on the outside, and soft on the inside. kinda like praline but not THAT liquid. there was distilluted (that's how he pronounced it) orange syrup which was rather bland. but the chocolate was awesomez.

That concluded the end of our meal. We went to society bar for drinks afterwards. their lychee mojito is not bad. :) i wish there was more alcohol in it though.. it tasted awfully much like lychee with mint.

This is our chef btw, he's called Ryan:

Although the bill came up to like 320++ per person (the 10-course meal itself is 230++) cuz we ordered wine and cocktails, the meal was rather worth it!

I would NEVER pay that kind of money for a meal, but thanks Zif!!! :) It's a kind of cuisine everyone should try at least once in their whole life.

Links/photo credits:

http://tipplingclub.com/

http://www.chubbyhubby.com/

http://asiaone.com/

Wensi's adventures in high heels part I

2010-05-10T21:09:00.003+08:00

Today was my first day of work at DBS. Derrick was awesome, P'ing was nice, Sunny was nice, Chait En was nice too.

BUT. During lunch, I went to meet my cousin and his friends at PHILIP STREET.

Inserts map:

While i was halfway there I almost died. It must have been 34 Degrees celsius, and I was in a long sleeved shirt and high heels. All my friends know that I cannot walk in heels for nuts. By the time I got to the place, I was DISHEVELLED.

After lunch, we decided to take the train. Although it was just one stop, but yay, SALVATION. I think, in my past life, I must have been a penguin. I cannot survive without aircon.

Luckily Rash was nice enough to walk me back to DBS, apologizing profusely and listening to me complain about how my feet hurt. Ah, as if complaining helped anything. But thanks :)

Today when i walked home, I felt like dying all over again. My feet felt super mutilated. Oh well, tomorrow I shall attempt to conquer my heels again.

I know this is a very pointless post but I just wanted to make myself laugh by doing the photoshopped penguin thingie. hahahha. For those who are wondering, that's what I looked like in Primary 6! HAHA. That photo never fails to make my day. I hope the penguin version made yours too. :)

a gift

2010-05-09T00:21:00.001+08:00

原来最简单的礼物我也可以学会珍惜。

sometimes all you need is one opportunity.

2010-04-16T00:35:00.002+08:00

Hello world!

Today I am HAPPY.

because I met someone who gave me a lesson on life. So damn insightful but I shall not post the full details of the conversation in case I misquote/get myself into legal trouble.

But anyway, I guess sometimes in life, people see things in you that you have never ever seen in your life. You may think that you're a good-for-nothing moper. But another person may see a lot of potential in you.

As long as there is one person who thinks that way, there must be something there.

You just have to look inside yourself to find it.

Good night world. I think the effects of Spinelli's and Starbucks have finally worn off. :)

keeping the bond.

2010-04-07T01:50:00.001+08:00

You'll always be my special new friend. :)

Always.

starting over

2010-04-06T23:30:00.001+08:00

sometimes you just need to slow down, forget everything,
and start from day 1.

retail therapy fail

2010-04-06T10:15:00.003+08:00

i used to think that, when im feeling really down i'd feel better if i told someone about it.
so i turned to blogging. because people aren't really interested in your problems 24/7 even if they say they are. lies.
but i realised blogging wasn't as effective a cure as it was back in 2007.
then i turned to retail therapy. "whoever said money can't buy happiness apparently doesn't know where to shop!" was my philosophy.

and then today i realised that even if you have money, there are things that you can't buy.
ok technically i can buy it if i want to buy it myself...
im not making sense now don't bother about me.

can't find internship.
no motivation to study.
no mental strength.

oh well. i get it.

new blog url coming up!

2010-04-05T00:53:00.002+08:00

am planning to change my blog URL to philosophicalairhead.blogspot.com cuz my current URL is just toooooo difficult to remember.

but somehow blogger isn't letting me do that. some conflicting edits problem. oh well.

will create a new one and export my entries aft exams. stay tuned ppl. a brand new super interesting blog comin ur way. (:

-------

in relation to my entry before the angsty great plains one,

frogs won't be princes, but princes will be princes.
princes marry princesses, but you will never be a princess.

ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

2010-04-03T15:38:00.002+08:00

fuck i hate great plains. fuck i hate great plains.
fuck i hate great plains. fuck i hate great plains.
fuck i hate great plains. fuck i hate great plains.
fuck i hate great plains. fuck i hate great plains.
fuck i hate great plains. fuck i hate great plains.
fuck i hate great plains. fuck i hate great plains.
fuck i hate great plains. fuck i hate great plains.
fuck i hate great plains. fuck i hate great plains.
fuck i hate great plains. fuck i hate great plains.
fuck i hate great plains. fuck i hate great plains.
fuck i hate great plains. fuck i hate great plains.
fuck i hate great plains. fuck i hate great plains.
fuck i hate great plains. fuck i hate great plains.
fuck i hate great plains. fuck i hate great plains.
fuck i hate great plains. fuck i hate great plains.
fuck i hate great plains. fuck i hate great plains.
fuck i hate great plains. fuck i hate great plains.
fuck i hate great plains. fuck i hate great plains.
fuck i hate great plains. fuck i hate great plains.

ok just needed somewhere to vent my anger about this HORRIBLE accounting software which lags my computer SO much, takes about 20 minutes to respond (yes i took the 20 mins to go bathe), and has a shitload of error messages.

fuck i hate great plains.

a moment of weakness

2010-03-25T19:39:00.002+08:00

some things should stay the way they are. like how grass should be green. remember those fairytales which told you that the grass was blue and the sky was green and the clouds were made of pink candy floss?

that might have sounded good at a point in time. something that was unconventional, something that was not the norm. something that interested you. something that was... nice.

or maybe pigs which had wings and could fly, rivers with milk/white/dark chocolate flowing in them, licorice boats floating on them.. it's really something special.

so in a moment of weakness, you would probably want to make "A" become "B". For whatever reason.

But the grass should stay green, the sky should stay blue, clouds shouldn't be edible; rivers too. and boats certainly shouldn't be made of licorice because it would be too sticky. and licorice is not even yummy in the first place i don't know why i thought of licorice in the first place.

but yeah, some things should just stay the way they are.

don't give in to that moment of weakness. because you are gonna have many many moments of weaknessess in your lives. (oh man i'm starting to think this entry is inspired by the ethics seminar that i am CURRENTLY in hahaha) but yeah, frogs will be frogs and they won't be princes.

don't let your mind wander and don't give in to that moment of weakness. like i did. so many times before.

so you sailed away.

2010-03-21T23:31:00.001+08:00

no matter how alone you think you are, it doesn't warrant a right for your mind to drift somewhere.

especially somewhere it shouldn't be going. ever.

not always rainbows and butterflies.

2010-03-01T16:44:00.001+08:00

Do what you have to do, and then love what you do.

That's very important.

need you now

2010-02-21T20:20:00.003+08:00

If only dreams would come true.
I had a very surreal dream this morning.

picture perfect memories scattered all across the floor
reaching for the phone cause i can't fight it anymore
and i wonder if i ever cross your mind
for me it happens all the time

"Need you now" by Lady Antebellum is a very special song to me. I'm learning how to play it on the guitar now (:

tiffyiffyiffy

2010-02-17T22:10:00.002+08:00

I had to share this with you guys!

I get the goosebumps everytime I listen to her. My fave youtube singer yet. (:

the little things

2010-02-17T20:38:00.002+08:00

Wake up, wake up. This ain't just a thing that you give up, give up.

disorganized.

2010-02-16T23:23:00.002+08:00

wensi is currently very stressed out.

but if there's anything she learnt from one of her previous jobs (selling credit cards), stress is just another word for being "disorganized".

so she shall attempt to organize her thoughts now. WHY am I so stressed?!?!?

1. Impresario stuff : must settle contestants' details and get their MMOs ASAP
2. TAX quiz coming up after recess week. DIE. must start comprehending miss lim
3. RMS essay due 27th Feb. note to self: must come up with first draft by 22nd Feb
4. CIMA Business case study
5. FIND FYP PROF AND REGISTER ASAP.
6. Clear backlogged readings for IT

Yup that's about it for now. will add to the list if i remember anything and i shall refer to this list and strike each item out after i've finished it. HAHA.

HEROES SEASON 1 EXHAUSTED MY CNY HOLIDAYS. yes i'm slow.

10/02/2010

2010-02-10T01:36:00.001+08:00

i wish i could be a good person.
i wish that a lot.

w.h.y

2010-02-09T00:16:00.002+08:00

it's a night like this that you finish the stuff that you're supposed to do, and then you feel empty.
you take out your guitar and try to look for new songs to play. but you realise that all of them need a capo which you don't have. never mind. let's just stick to 'bubbly'. and then you get bored.

and then you start thinking about why you were such an airhead during tax today. and then you start feeling lonely. and you start thinking if something's wrong with you. there must be a reason for all the times you've failed. for all the times you put in effort but everything came to naught.

there must be a reason.

some blind faith.

2010-02-08T21:02:00.000+08:00

somehow hope you'd say "really? me too. let's go together."

how true.

2010-02-03T23:32:00.001+08:00

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can.
She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there.
- Bob Marley

xiaoqiang loves soup

2010-01-31T22:55:00.003+08:00

if my heart was a house you'd be home.

Love is always, always in the air.

2010-01-25T21:47:00.007+08:00

Dear friends, Chinese New Year is just 3 weeks away! Have you begun stocking up on those pineapple tarts and bak kwa yet?

(sidenote advert: if any of you want Fragrance Bak Kwa at a discount, pls get back to me by 31st Jan!!! 1kg will be packed in plastic boxes while 500g orders will be packed in paper boxes. SUBSTANTIAL DISCOUNTS)

OK anyway. some of you would have started mulling over what to give your significant other for Valentines' Day -- A day I have not celebrated in... 3 years. I think. The last V-day I celebrated was a mess anyway.

And yes, I am dedicating this post to all the singles. It will not be a sour and cynical post. While you lovebirds are sneaking out of the house on Da Nian Chu Yi (First day of the lunar new year) to meet your significant other, I will be playing mahjong with my family at my Grandma's house. and winning a hell lot of money. I will be darn happy!!! (and no, I am not being sarcastic)

That's why I love this year's Valentines' Day.

It is always during festive occasions that I celebrate, instead of lament my (ill) single fate. :)

And yes, to all you singles out there, aren't you glad that you don't have to spend a bomb on your significant other? Because I know, when I get a boyfriend, I will spend a HELL lot of money on him.

I have already thought of all the V-day and birthday and xmas presents I will be lavishing on my future boyfriend. (LUCKY I don't have one :D)

So friends, don't worry about me, I'm ok with being single. During festive seasons. I'd very much prefer to spend the money on myself. Because I love myself SO much.

Then again, before you all start labelling me as a money face (which I know you know I'm not), love is more than expensive presents.

The greatest gift anybody could give is the gift of time.

If you ask me what's my idea of a perfect Valentines' Day gift, it's someone who can spend all his time with me.

Love,

Wensi

(stay tuned for part 2. I've suddenly been hit by a stroke of inspiration. OUCH.)

cheese crackers.

2010-01-24T23:00:00.003+08:00

spontaneity is a must. for now, it is definitely at the top of my list.
randomness can pass off as spontaneity sometimes.

but spontaneity is still preferred.

----------------------------------------------------------------

wensi is feeling under the weather.

WHY CAN'T I HAVE A SATURDAY WITHOUT CCA. ):

i just wanna curl up in bed all day long.

maybe we're not meant to be

2010-01-15T02:41:00.001+08:00

it's like one step forward and two steps back

no matter what i do you're always mad

and i

i can't change your mind

it's like im tryin' to turn around on a one way street

i can't give you what you want and it's killin' me

and i

i'm startin' to see

that maybe we're not meant to be.

----------------

ok it doesnt really mean anything to me. it's just a song that's been in my head for ages. i just needed to type this somewhere. and typing it in a msn convo window would just freak yongxian out hahaha.

to some very special people:

2010-01-11T21:58:00.002+08:00

"i love 06S6D."

I just wanna say it again. and I can't say it enough.

they're the only people I can be myself around. and they are the only people who don't find me irritating although I always think I am.

and thankyou to some who make my day in different ways. in ways smaller than you would expect, and in ways that they themselves don't even notice, but in ways that mean the world to me. :)

you all know who you are.

although there are some who simply.. can't be bothered.

but that's fine. i love you all the same.

will you still love me, tomorrow?

2010-01-07T02:40:00.001+08:00

will you still love me,

when i start nagging at you more than you can bear

when my waist grows bigger than my hips

when my hair starts to thin

when my hands start to shake

when I can no longer sketch

when I can no longer sing

when I can no longer dance

when I can no longer go on long walks with you by the river

when I can no longer cook nor clean

when the children have to take care of me instead

when my skin starts to sag, when my hands are no longer smooth

when I can no longer amuse you with my witty comments

when I can no longer laugh without choking

when we argue more than we speak

when I least deserve your love?

will you still love me, tomorrow?

it's always scary to grow old. but it's even scarier to grow old with somebody. the fear that he/she may not love you tomorrow.

apologies for the totally random cod (xue3 yu2) photo. but it's very awesome. i think i tlooks like a heart shape here. it's this cod dish from crystal jade kitchen(: thankyou for the treat mister handsome! I think i must have gained an instant kg from that meal. next time let's just stick to 2 dishes. whee.

the final letter.

2010-01-05T01:58:00.003+08:00

Dear you,

I used to love receiving your letters. They were always full of happiness. They always made me laugh.

This time, I'm not looking forward to receiving your letters at all. Because I know what you're gonna say. I know exactly what you're gonna say. And why you're taking so long to say it.

If I told you that I knew, and I know everything you mean to say, can you not write this letter? Can you just leave it be?

Maybe the postman will misplace your letter and so I'll never get my answer.

But wait, even if I don't read your letter, I've already got my answer.

So please.

Love,

absence kills everything.

2010-01-03T23:22:00.000+08:00

there was no "Summer and Tom" in the first place.

500 days of summer.

2009-12-30T23:35:00.003+08:00

I recently watched 500 days of summer. A little slow, I know. probably because I couldn't find the time to watch it when it was in cinemas.

Summer is a girl who doesn't believe in love or fate. Her parents split up when she was still a little girl. And there are only two things she loves. One, her long brown hair. And two, how easily she could cut it off without feeling anything.

Tom is a guy who believes he will never truly be happy until he meets "the one". And apparently, Summer was "The one" for him.

Well obviously in this relationship Summer was the one who was in control. Because she cared less and was detached. I'll never forget how Summer told Tom "We're just friends." even when they were obviously not. Summer had Tom in the palm of her hand. Like a puppet.

But if Tom were to suddenly grow some balls and start ignoring Summer one day, I'm sure Summer would have been devastated too. No matter how nonchalant she seems on the surface. Because Tom is a really awesome guy and Summer knows it.

Alas, Tom didn't grow some balls. Summer dumped him in the end and Tom was a mess. Until he met Autumn, that is.

Would things have been different if Tom decided to confront this "friend" and make her admit that she had as serious feelings for him as he had for her? Would things have been different if Tom decided to give Summer the cold shoulder, or probably try to play the "Hot and cold" game with her instead?

What if Tom wasn't THAT smitten with Summer? What if he had tried to control his infatuation? Instead of running to Summer like a little puppy at her every beck and call, could he have tried to play hard to get? Would that change anything?

Well, in my humble opinion, NO.

I wannt be Summer. I don't wanna be Tom. I don't wanna have to be the one thinking of these "what-ifs".

I don't wanna be vulnerable.

Uniquely Singapore.

2009-12-23T10:51:00.002+08:00

thought of the day:

why go to phuture to squeeze with everybody? Every day like that on the MRT not enough meh?

Seriously, if some bugger decided to play some music on the MRT everybody could start vibrating about their fixed positions -- just like what they do in Phuture. 'Cept that you don't have to pay for it.

And it's definitely a different crowd. You get a lot more people who are dressed badly and smell bad on the MRT.

A uniquely Singapore experience.

Don't ask why I'm so pissed off. It's obviously because something happened to me on the MRT yesterday. (groans)

musical talents.

2009-12-12T11:42:00.002+08:00

wensi is going to do something meaningful during this school holiday (or what's left of it).

she is going to prove that she has musical talent. (after failing to do so for 19 years)

pengsing says it'll take 4 weeks. I say it'll take a year.

we'll see. i'll post a video (of me doing something i've never done before) when i succeed.

but at the moment wensi is still physically and musically challenged, and typing with really sore fingertips. ):

PAIN.

bones.

2009-12-06T01:03:00.002+08:00

Kristen Stewart (or Bella Swan, as we more affectionately relate to her as): the prettiest girl in Hollywood right now. at least i think so.

New Moon was horrible. but i think im madly in love with bella's face. gorgeous bone structure.

i originally wanted to blog about self-esteem issues. but i don't feel like doing that tonight.

maybe some other day.

goodnight world.

super mario cupcakes

2009-11-27T22:16:00.005+08:00

photo credit: hellonaomi

the thought.

2009-11-24T00:19:00.003+08:00

remember the times you watched a great happy-ending movie and you thought "that'll happen to me one day. If i wait long enough."

well maybe it will.

*dis-despairing.

2009-11-19T21:42:00.003+08:00

today i yet again experienced the feeling of total despair.

you know, every day i walk out of my house with a great attitude, feeling the beautiful sunshine on my face.. (cues happy music which makes you want to bounce) but it's not so beautiful. there's a huge raincloud on my head every day. and every day just seems so bleak.

i wanted to rant about how today was one of the most horrid days of my life. and you know what's even more horrid? i realise i have experienced such horrid days before. which shows how goddamn unlucky i am.

i must have used 23,000 swear words inwardly today. as if using expletives would ameliorate anything. it just makes me feel uncouth and inadequate. (doesn't help that i'm learning about how women generally use less expletives than men, and women are more polite.. yada yada)

i had some acquaintances who dropped out of school or deferred a year from school because they were suffering from depression. and while i was walking home sobbing, i wondered, why couldn't i be like them? it wasn't because i didn't have enough negativity in me to do that. maybe i was more than just that.

i realised that, maybe i'm not the only unfortunate and unlucky person. maybe others who are even more unlucky than me keep their grouses to themselves. maybe they know that complaining doesn't change anything.

i thought this post would be a horrible and un-stomachable post for most of my friends who are tired of me talking about being sick and fed up of how unlucky i am, and how i have "given up" time and time again. but i guess i just dont possess the "give up" gene.

but i guess this post is quite empowering, at least for me.

okay back to studying linguistics. i just needed to get this out of my system. thanks for reading.

earworm: owl city

2009-11-16T00:22:00.002+08:00

Introducing........ Wensi's favourite musician of the month!

OWL CITY!

Ok we all know he (or they, as you might have thought) has a hit "Fireflies" which is AWESOME. but yes, Owl City is not a band! it's just a guy named Adam Young.

And now i'm listening to his album "Ocean Eyes". pretty awesome. he produces songs which just put you in a GREAT mood. (: the tunes are really catchy and unconventional. kinda like happy electropop.

Recommended tracks:

Vanilla Twillight

Favourite Lyrics: Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.

The spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly.

If My Heart Was A House

Favourite lyric: If my heart was a house, you'd be home.

sweet right? (:

Strawberry Avalanche (single)

Dental Care

HAHHAHAH YES what a cute title right? (:

Favourite lyric: I'll swallow my pride with an aspirin and shut my mouth.

The Saltwater Room

okay yeah i'm just doing this cuz im sick of trying to study with a headache and a mild fever. ):

toodles!

fluff.

2009-11-09T15:03:00.003+08:00

while you weren't listening, all our love songs became sad songs.

--> from http://pleasefindthis.blogspot.com/

it's a fantabulous blog. the writer is faaaaaaaaaantastic. that's where i got my inspiration for my previous post. although he tends to dramatize things a bit too much sometimes, it's still heartwrenching to read. and the analogies he makes -- brilliant.

AB214 presentation afterthought: too much fluff. (tongtong, i just realised fluff rhymes with puff. get it?(:)

some people should really just practise what they preach. alright, but at least they're honest.

-------------

updates on fad diet: IT'S OFFICIALLY (ok half-officially) OVER!

when i went for dance class that day i almost fainted because of the lack of blood sugar. how awful was that. ): yup and so i rewarded myself with a cup of macdonalds strawberry milkshake afterwards :D :D (BEAMS)

and now im taking in carbs little by little. i dropped a couple of KGs under this diet but im pretty sure i'll gain it all back really soon.

oh well. even if imma fat cow, one day i'll get married.

The perfect disaster.

2009-11-04T21:33:00.006+08:00

Sometimes, I wonder. When you look right past me and you walk right by me, does your heart quiver ever so slightly?
Because sometimes, no, everytime, when I see you, it feels like an earthquake inside.

Diets: Fab or fad?

2009-11-03T22:16:00.004+08:00

Hello people, today Wensi shall share her dieting tips.

Okay, technically not tips. Cuz I'm not a successful dieter. We all know diets NEVER work. But that doesn't stop us from trying, does it. Under the influence of the great Sonia Mao who lost 2.5kg under this diet programme, I have decided to try it too. (PS: I am fully aware of all the side-effects of this diet. So please don't tell me stuff I already know)

And boy, is it HELL.

The Low-Carb Diet

Ahhh, yes. The famous low-carb diet. Almost like Atkin's diet where you are encouraged to consume less than 10g of carbohydrates per day. But seriously, HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?

unless you're like a carnivore who doesn't adore fried chicken (with the oh-so-sinful batter).

So, the LOW-carb diet is more practical.

Well basically for the past two days, i have been having incredible breakfasts. I'm not being sarcastic! i genuinely enjoy it!

Day #1 breakfast: Steamed baby corn, cherry tomatoes, steamed octopus balls. (no salad dressing)
Day #2 breakfast: Steamed baby corn, cherry tomatoes, capsicum, CHEESE TOFU.

The cheese tofu seriously made my day. (: Because i can't eat anything that's obviously high in carbohydrates (eg fries, rice, noodles), I have to plan my meals.

Day #1 lunch: Yong Tau Foo without noodles
Day #2 lunch: Soyabean milk from Mr Bean (without syrup)

HORRORS OF HORRORS. you should never ever ever drink soyabean milk without sugar. It tastes salty. =/ i don't know why. And the aftertaste is so horrible, you'll totally lose your appetite. so that's good for you.

Day #1 dinner: SHIHLIN CHICKEN OMGGGGGGG :D:D
Day #2 dinner: lettuce, toasted taiwan sausages, toasted chicken

and yes i convinced myself it was okay to have fried chicken every day. :D since it's all protein. (i blatantly ignore the batter outside. and the oil.)

Anyway I don't know how long this low-carb nonsense is gonna last. probably until i see some results. but i'm gonna eat MACDONALDS tml (minus the fries, change the drink to milk) so that i can have a shot at winning an ipod touch from the monopoly game. will some kind soul who sees this buy me an ipod touch instead? save me from the caloriesssssss! :D

Right now, i'm craving for:

IKEA MEATBALLS!

Potatoes, anyone? (:

LA FEMME FATALE

2009-10-26T09:53:00.005+08:00

Hello people. I am so proud of myself because i lugged a 2+ kg (ok now that i've admitted it's only 2+ kg i don't feel so proud anymore but, anyhow,) dvd player from my house to the CAC room without taking a cab!

Why am I doing so? because I'm part of the Impresario 09/10 committee! It's your turn to shine. Muahah.

"What is Impresario?" you may ask. it's a nation-wide talent search competition! the 4 categories include vocal solo, vocal group, street dance and original composition. Visit www.cacimpresario.com to find out more (:

---

Okay enough of advertisements! Wensi will blog about a very important issue today. Sexuality! HAHA okay sorry, no it's not really that. Sorry to disappoint, guys.

I am going to blog about feminity! Ok it's actually because some guy said that i'm very 'man' that day. Because I play dota (or used to) and I watch soccer (WHEEEEEEE i watched liverpool massacre man-u YET again!! kudos to torres and Ngog although I think Ngog's goal was rather tyco. Albeit beautiful, no doubt.).

Okay so basically, there are certain steps i should take to become a more feminine person! The following is what i SHOULD do. Though not necessarily what i WILL do.

#1: Stop swearing!

The day I almost lost my netbook I swore like 50 times in a row. Aye it was a natural reflex okay. Tell me, who doesn't swear when they feel anxious/angry/horrified/helpless??? Okay fine, many people don't. So I shall not swear anymore. Mao i'm sure it's your influence on me HAHA you stop swearing too!!!! (starts pointing fingers)

#2: Only wear skirts to show that I'm a girl

Haha yeah I know it's quite dumb cuz girls can wear trousers/pants/jeans too. =/ Just a pathetic attempt to show people that imma girly girl.

Which btw I am! cuz i love pink, floral and frilly stuff. Okay minus the frilly part.

#3: Cover my mouth when i laugh

Wensi now: a girl who throws back her head without inhibitions when she laughs. Kinda like a dimsum dolly. 'Nuff said.

#4: ALWAYS wear perfume

And make sure it's the fruity floral scent!

Okay i give up. HAHA. This is just so not my thing.

----------------------

all those material things ; they don't matter. Why did I just realise?

Tips to whiten your skin

2009-10-17T16:47:00.010+08:00

ARGH.

The heat is sweltering today. Not just today, actually. Every day.

That's why, today while i was ninja-ing around trying to get into the shade and out of the murderous sun rays, I had a sudden stroke of inspiration to write this post.

As I am sitting in a corner of the Al-fresco Starbucks at Plaza Singapura, sipping on my mocha frappucino that has been reduced to ultra diluted coffee by the heat outside, I will write a post about how to be fair and STAY that way.(:

Okay fine, I am naturally fair, but I get tanned SUPER easily. Just by walking under the sun for 10 minutes. But there are certain things (or you may call them superstitions) i swear by. So i'm gonna share them with you!

Disclaimer: Google was not involved in the making of this entry. The following is purely based on my own experience and the wisdom i have gained over the years of reading beauty articles.

Wensi's Top Whitening Tips

#1: Watch what you eat!

How you look on the outside is determined by what you ingest, whether you like it or not. Avoid dark coloured foods and don't eat vegetables/fruits like carrots and papayas! (There's a reason why tanning oil is made from carrot extract.)

Stay away from soya sauce and only consume "steamed chicken" instead of "roast chicken" when you order chicken rice. Yes, call me superstitious! (:

#2: Watch what you drink!

Don't drink coke. Okay fine this is my personal bias. But it is true that Coke makes your teeth yellow. alright i'm digressing. it doesn't have anything to do with your skin. but hey, who doesn't like WHITE teeth too?
Drink more light coloured fluids such as milk and barley. These two drinks are proven to make your skin fairer! I swear by this.

#3: Don't go under the sun without protection

ALWAYS always apply sunblock. Although I am really guilty of not practising what I preach. Also, it's not about how high the SPF of your sunblock is. It's about how much sunblock you use! Sunblock is especially important when you wear light-coloured clothing. (Yes UV rays penetrate your clothing. No kidding.)

#4: Load up on Vitamin C!

Take at least 500mg of vitamin C a day. Not only does it boost your immune system, it makes your skin fairer too. Lightens your acne scars. Alternatively, if you can't stand the artificial taste of redoxen, include fruits like blackberries/mulberries/ACAI BERRIES HAHA/citrus fruits/dark chocolate into your daily diet to give your body the dose of anti-oxidants it requires.

#5: (Oversized) Shades are your best friend.

Oversized sunglasses not only make a fashion statement, they protect your eyes (and the skin around your eyes) from the scorching sun! Wearing oversized sunglasses can also prevent wrinkles from forming around the delicate eye area.

#6: Whitening skincare

Whenever you get skincare or makeup, be sure to get products which claim to WHITEN. If you're on a budget, Hazeline Snow Whitening (the green one) will do just fine. I especially adore Nivea Whitening Lotion (night) although i'm always SOOO lazy to apply it.

Whitening BB Cream is good too. because it serves as foundation, sunblock and whitening skincare! Today I just bought a whitening bath foam. Yes, call me kiasu.

#7: Exfoliate!!!

Exfoliation is important to remove the dull dead skin we have and reveal the glowing, supple skin underneath! -cues oohs and aaahs- (okay in theory, yes.) And that's what i tell myself when i exfoliate my skin. It's a placebo effect i guess. And that's what I'm gonna do when I go to Pattaya during the December hols. While my class is suntanning on the beach, I will visit the spa to exfoliate until all my skin drops off. :D

I recommend this daily morning pineapple peel from Skinfood or the exfoliating gel from Bio-essence. SHIOK when you see all your dead skin coming off.

Alright this pretty much sums up my top tips for whitening. I will continue expanding this list when I have found other whitening methods :P

Let's say hello to fair, glowing skin!

someday i'm gonna rule the world.

2009-10-12T23:45:00.001+08:00

Someday when i rule the world

Gonna stand by you

Love you all i can

You're beautiful

The reason i believe

Dont give up on me

I'll make it wonderful

When I rule the world

But before that, it's okay to be alone.

l_ve is blind.

2009-10-05T22:29:00.004+08:00

When people say that love is blind, it doesn't only mean that you look past the flaws of the one you love. It doesn't only mean that you won't be bothered with his/her appearance. Well in the negative context it plainly means: Aiyoh she must be blind! There's nothing good about that guy lor! But there's more to that than meets the eye.

I think love makes us blind to many many things. And many many people around us. Maybe even people or things who are more worth our time.

Finding excuses and constantly deluding yourself is so last century. Aren't you tired of that already? I sure am.

I want to be able to see things clearly. From a third person's perspective. To put myself outside of the situation for awhile. But wait, is there really a situation? or is it all just in my head.

I think it's time to stop being blinded and start living for yourself.

I dug out this really old notebook in which i used to write about all my crushes. It was a unbearable to read. Can you imagine, i was 'in love' with this guy whom i've never even spoken to. we only communicated via sms.

and yes, i was 'in love'. aaahh. -cues soppy romantic music-

i mean.. WERT?!!?!?!??! How could I fall in love with someone I haven't even spoken to?? Being shy was not an excuse.

Those were the days. I guess a part of me is still like that now. Always dreaming of happily-ever-afters.

But it's really time to take that blindfold off. Just like loving somebody is a choice, not loving somebody is a choice too. Just like falling in love takes courage, falling out of love takes lots of gusto as well.

----------

Sidenote:

I've always complained about being an open book. It's like, I'm no longer interesting anymore. People like mystery. And yet, i am, but an open book. I don't need people to pry. But today I realised that although i may be an open book, i can be deep. And there are layers you have to plough through before you can finally get to know what kind of a person i am. It just depends on whether you have the patience to get to the very last page of this open book.

shopping for love.

2009-09-26T23:35:00.005+08:00

Sometimes i think the way people shop can be linked to what kind of attitude they adopt when it comes to love. (or playing the game of love.)

there are different kinds of shoppers:

1) The impulsive shopper

He's the one who buys useless things on impulse and then regrets his purchases. Remember those horrid highlighter pink and yellow tops you bought last season on impulse? they're sitting in the closet now aren't they. or maybe they're already in the trash can. how tragic.

2) The contemplative shopper

He sees this shirt he's really interested in. "Wow. It's really not bad. But... It's a bit too expensive. Do i really need it? Or is it a want?"
So he waits around. (I really don't know what he's waiting for though.) And then one day when he goes back to the shop and decides to buy it, it's gone. off the market. too bad. how typical.

3) The "i-know-what-i-want" shopper

"okay," he says, "Today I'm gonna get a shirt to wear for my cousin's wedding dinner on saturday. It's gonna be blue, checkered and long sleeved." He goes to the shop, spots the shirt, grabs it, tries it on, and pays at the cashier. how swift.

4) The emotional shopper

He believes in retail therapy. So he shops the most when he is feeling down. Or sometimes he buys stuff to fill some kind of void inside him. Sometimes he ends up buying things that he's not interested in at all. He just needs to spend some money. how strange.

5) The one who's just filthy rich.

He shops at all the best shops and he always gets what he wants. He likes all the newest toys. His philosophy: You can never have enough watches. Even if you can only wear one each day. He doesn't really have any emotional attachment to his possessions. Afterall he can always replace them. how irksome.

6) The loyalty card member.

He loves the clothes from this shop. And this shop only. He has the loyalty card and almost all the staff at the shop know him. Maybe it's the discount that attracts him to shop there, or maybe there's just some inexplicable attraction between him and the shop. All his life he will prefer to shop there. how ideal.

I think i'll add some other types to the list after i encounter them. (i just realised i haven't included many positive types. that really shows how pessimistic/cynical i am?)

So, what kind of shopper/lover are you? (:

sua. (it means "forget it.")

2009-09-25T13:17:00.004+08:00

it's a new blog skin again.
A new blog skin symbolizes a new beginning. (or maybe i was just getting sick of the polka dots and i wanted something cleaner.)

"i wish you were here with me but you're not here, you're there.
and there doesn't know how lucky it is."

What an awesome line. doesn't really apply to me now. i don't know.
men these days should really mean what they say.

-i'll always have time for you.
-wow really?
-~~but tonight a bit special.~~
-(so is it really always?)

and promises should matter if the promisee matters to the promisor.

every girl waits around all her life for some knight in shining armour.
some fairytale-like endings.
no, not me. not now. i'd rather take a pauper.

the ugly truth

2009-09-20T22:47:00.005+08:00

I went to watch "The Ugly Truth" with mister photogenic today.
It was a suuuuuuuuuuuuuuper funny movie. i cried once or twice though. being the super emo person i am.

basically what i got from the movie was: No matter how much of a control freak or how dense you are, there will be somebody who will appreciate you.

Yay that means i can continue being a control freak. (ok im really not. lose.) i'm just loud and I dont think before i speak. at least that's what i wanna think i am.

i hope one day the truth need not be ugly. i hope the truth can one day be beautiful. let's wait for that day then.

only human.

2009-09-13T22:59:00.000+08:00

tonight is one of those nights.
one of those nights i'm more human than other nights.

it's a phrase i use to subsitute for being "emo".
which expands to become "emotional". having said this, what's wrong with being "emo"?

it simply makes us a bit more human.

been listening to colbie caillat's new album "Breakthrough".

my favourite song (next to "Fallin' for you") is "Fearless".

If that's the way you love,
you've got to learn so much.
If that's the way you say goodbye

If this is how it ends,
then i'm alright with it
you're never gonna see me cry
cause I've cried.

So go on, go on and break my heart
there's nothing you can do to me,
that's ever gonna burn me.

So go on, go on and leave my love
out on the street
I'm fearless, better believe I'm fearless,
fearless

If this is how it hurts
it couldn't get much worse
If this is how it feels to fall

Then that's the way it is
we live with what we miss
we learn to build another wall
till it falls.

-----------

how true.

to surrender.

2009-09-10T22:10:00.000+08:00

some people wait around all their lives.
not me. im not gonna waste my time waiting around anymore.

had an awesome lunch with sonia mao today. she told me that the most important thing in a relationship is to "surrender" when you fall in love.

and i was like, "you mean to compromise and give in?"

she was like, "no, it's way more intense. it's to surrender everything. completely."

(intense is like her favourite word right now anyway.)

really, this concept of surrenderring is interesting. to surrender your pride, your ego, your inhibitions, your fears, your everything.

and it's not easy to do so. this kinda changed my perception of falling in love. it isn't so easy. it never is.

tough times don't last. really.

2009-09-08T22:18:00.003+08:00

Just read one of my friend's entry and I feel that I should update too.
We're pretty much in the same boat, everything seems to be going downhill.

Besides the fact that I'm really struggling with AA202 and I'm a total Excel idiot (there will actually be a test on Excel omggggggg), I lost my camera at St James that day while i was drunk.
Okay i was not totally drunk. maybe just very giddy. Don't know how i lost it. maybe it just slipped out of my hand and I didn't realise.

the camera, as mentioned in a previous entry, was a birthday gift from my daddy. SIGH. I was planning to replace it this weekend at the IT fair (yes i checked already and i know it's this weekend), but I guess my plans will have to be scrapped due to the unresponsiveness of a certain somebody.

I'm really unhappy in my course because I really really dislike accounting. managerial, in fact. used to like it, but i've suddenly lost interest? i'd be happier doing something like linguistics.

Alright I think you're sick of my ranting. So i shall tell yall something interesting:

One day i received this missed call and so i gave the person a call back. So this guy asked me whether i knew of someone called Jonathan Sim. So i was like, yeah he was my acquaintance back in Hwachong. According to this "Danny" guy, Jonathan gave him my number when he asked him to introduce a girl to him. -_- why like thaaaaaat.

ok anyway the weird thing is when i asked jonathan about it, he said he doesn't even have my number (and i think it's true). So how the hell did this "Danny" guy get my number?!

Btw, fun facts abt Danny:
1. He has an amazing ability to continue conversations even though the person on the other side of the line is obviously uninterested and irritated.
2. He dropped out of school after his Secondary education. Reason? "Aiyah i just dont like to study."

that was what infuriated me. His very lousy attitude. I mean, I don't like studying too. but it's my responsibility so I try to do my best. and to do it well.

Therefore i stopped replying him. and yesterday at around 8am (what the hell?! super early) he called me using his office phone? I thought it was some tuition lobang so i picked up the call. Damn he totally sounds like an ah beng. when he asked me "where do you stay?" I immediately said "Pasir Ris". The further away from my house, the better.
URGH!

he hasn't been contacting me since i got off the phone with him. and god i hope he doesn't.

anyway, moral of the story: don't return missed calls. EVER!!!!

Yup okay back to my original agenda. I just want to say.. there are good times and there are bad times (quotes neighbour). you can't ALWAYS remain suey. sometimes when you least expect it, you'll get lucky (:

As long as you tell yourself, "i'm trying my best, i'm working hard. there are
certain things in life i cant control, so i should stop worrying about them. I
can't control the outcome, but i can control the effort i put in. And that's all
i should worry about."

WOOTS. I believe I have been putting in effort for many things, so time will tell whether my efforts will pay off. and even if they don't, forget it. life's too short to be spent worrying and waiting.

some people wait all their lives.

2009-08-30T21:11:00.000+08:00

yes some people wait all their lives for things that won't happen.
I don't wanna be like them.
But unfortunately I am.
"Make it happen, then!" you say.
But is it really worth it? I asked myself and the answer was really quite evidently "no".

so yeah, 等不到就别等了。

i'll just close this chapter for now.

-------------------------

sidenote: go for NUS Engin Bash 2009! "What the hat!"
It's at St James Powerhouse on 5th Sept.
I'm sure it'll be a blast. (:

one-way street.

2009-08-27T00:01:00.002+08:00

it's like i try to turn around on a one-way street.

im waiting for the first letter. if it doesnt come then... i might just disappear.

------------------------------

doomdeedoom. the weeks fly by yet i havent found meaning in my current situation.

distant friends.

2009-08-08T02:05:00.004+08:00

sorry friends, for disappearing for a week!
was at Hall 3 FOC.

just had our first hip hop 2 lesson today. even though I was almost dying of windpipe infection HAHA.
we really really feel OLLLLDDDDDD. the class was very reminiscent of hall dance sessions except 100 times tougher. -pants-

today i was playing the sims and i received notifications that my sims had become "distant friends" with other sims due to their lack of interaction. (was too busy trying to help them fulfuil their lifelong wishes of being heartbreakers and CEOs and what nots)

the notification said "relationships are hard to maintain."

true, very true. i think that's kinda what i felt after going through the camp. wanted to say something positive but afterall i have to tell the truth. i no longer feel the sense of belonging i once felt.

i think i probably tried too hard at one point in time and then i became tired. and i just didnt wanna care anymore. maybe these relationships have to be 2-sided. no, not maybe. they have to be. or else they wouldn't have mattered in the first place, no?

I do feel a bit sore, a bit sorrowful. but there's nothing much i can do.

i guess it's back to being a nobody in school.

oh you make me smile.

2009-07-26T01:13:00.003+08:00

i have a new-found obsession with balloons. and this following song:

You're better then the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler then the flip side of my pillow, that's right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me,
Lets me know that it's ok, yeah it's ok
And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Even when you're gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking the sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain and just like that

Don't know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes

----------------------------

This is such a beautiful song. (:

sometimes i wish i was someone like that to someone else.
was i ever? i dont think so.
----------------------------

OH yes. something random: never ever wrap yourself with clingwrap in an attempt to lose weight. it's GROSS, painful, and freakin difficult to take out.

tsk, i sound like i actually tried that before.

Nice guys

2009-07-06T23:30:00.002+08:00

Many guys tell me, "Nice guys finish last."

I never really wanted to believe that, because I'd always wanted somebody nice to spend the rest of my life with, so I don't think nice guys finish last. Or I'd be wanting to spend my life with a loser.

But now that I think of it, girls really have a thing for nasty/bad/obnoxious/mean guys. yes overly mean guys can be a turn-off, but they can be funny too. and most girls have this secret desire to "see something in the guy that others can't". that the guy is actually an emo softie. that guy is actually confused, messed up, but deep inside is a really awesome chap.

and then when they think they've seen it, they fall head over heels in love. beyond redemption. but really, did she really "see" something in that guy? or was she just blinded by love.

9 out of 10 times, i would say, it's the latter. because even if there is a special quality about that guy that others don't see, SO WHAT? in the end he might still end up hurting you.

Mean guys have it easy because when they (accidentally) do or say something nice, the girl will definitely be on cloud nine. because the guy's so obnoxious, every little nice thing he does seems HUUUUUUUUUUGE. GARGANTUAN.

What about nice guys? They are alwayyyys so nice. so if they want to wow the girls, they have to seriously go out of their way to do something nice. it's so tough for them.

that being said, you know I appreciate nice guys. really, i do.

-------------------

Oh yes, some blogging material, finally:

Today i was proceeding to Pearlyn's house at Yew Tee to give her tuition. so i travelled from Braddell to Yew Tee MRT. When i got off the train at Yew Tee, this guy suddenly tapped me from behind and passed me a piece of paper which was folded.

I was quite stunned after reading it. In his exact words:

嗨! 我是你身后穿褐色衣服的男生,想进一步认识你. 希望你能给我一个机会.谢谢!
XX (His name)
96XXXXXX (His number)

Hey, I'm the guy standing behind you. Hope to know you better and wish that you give me a chance to. Thank you!
XX (His name)
96XXXXXXX (His number)

After i read it, the first thing that came to mind was, "why did you translate it!"

and then the unavoidable words came out of his mouth: "Are you local? cuz you don't look local."

i was like thinking: oh, so that's why you wrote chinese first then translated cuz you later changed your mind. -__- MAJOR TURN-OFF. cuz i really dont appreciate people saying that im not local. (hence PRC)

hahahha so i was like.. let me think about it and i'll sms you.

and as i walked off i realised that his intended destination wasn't yew tee cuz he remained on the platform to wait for another train.

HAHA hilarious. pretty sweet though. his method is very old school. VERY VERY VERY.
:D

va va vroom.

2009-07-03T00:29:00.002+08:00

"watching you makes up for lost time."

in the right context, it would be nice. like a line which came out of a movie, i guess.

---------------------------

went for a spin in shan's dad's new Porsche Carrera. can go from 0-100km/h in 4.9 seconds
HAHA i am SUCH a guy.
we took some pics with the car HAHA. afterall it's not every day that you have a Porsche parked outside your house. (i wonder why her dad parks it outside though) unless you're Han Yushan :P

totally awesome.

sometimes i wonder if i'm just a boy trapped in a girl's body.
sometimes i wish i were.

king of the world.

2009-06-20T14:40:00.004+08:00

this year's birthday... well, i just have to say that i've been thoroughly touched by each and every one of my friends (:

more than 70 facebook wall posts and smses..

3 cakes..

loads of presents..

and most importantly, so much love (:

actually, the biggest gift i received this year is the gift of friendship. sometimes i wonder why my friend stick around. time after time. they never tire.

i really am a lucky girl aren't i. (:

thankyou, each and every one of you. thankyou if i forgot to thank you (smacks myself).

joke: that day a 30-year old guy asked if i was single and i said no. then he asked me what kind of guys i liked (he would "intro" guys to me). i replied: but i'm lesbian. and he never smsed me again. HAHAHHAAHAHA. guys.

---------------------------------------------------------------

how many times can i break till i shatter? --shattered by O.A.R

best song i heard Goodfellas play at Arts House last night.

imma full-fledged timbre girl now i swear. or maybe i'm just devoted to Goodfellas. (:

HAHA freakin' candid shot.

PS: did you know botak jones is having a massive burger eating competition? anybody wants to join? i'll be going down to cover 1 or 2 events (most likely at toa payoh and orchard)

i hope i get free food :D:D (glutton in me shows)

wensi's turning old.

2009-06-11T23:55:00.002+08:00

wensi is counting down to her birthday!
those of you who still dont know what to get me, look left! (: i have a large range of requests to accede to your needs. HAHA WHAT IRONY.

HAHA.
dont get perfume though. i think some ppl are alr getting that.

(i am SO thick-skinned.) but at least im happy now aren't i.

today i received a hot pink book from my tutee. DAMN SWEET LAH (: didnt expect it frm her!

anyway..

life kinda does suck quite badly recently. it doesn't help that a particular incident left me feeling drained of all happiness.

it's kinda crazy to learn that everything you once knew, or thought you knew, just did a 180-degree turn. maybe you shouldn't have been so trusting. maybe you shouldn't have forgiven. because your forgiveness earned betrayal ultimately. wow. it sounds so drama right. surreal, i would say. or just one word: disappointment.

but nothing will dampen my spirits as i approach the biiiiig-two-zero! :D
i suddenly feel so old. (:

horrible.

2009-06-09T11:54:00.003+08:00

i'm at home today because i took an MC. duh obviously.
yesterday i had gastric pains after starving myself for a day. and then when i finally couldnt take it at night, i ordered macs. after the satisfying meal, i ended up having ACUTE gastric pains. i almost died.
then the worse came: i vomitted out all that i ate. it's the worst feeling in the world to gag and vomit at the same time because i couldn't breathe.

i feel so horrible.

how much more can my body take and what am i trying to prove?
i know i should eat at least 2 meals a day but my appetite is horrible.

this is my birthday week and yet, i feel like trash. but i'd really like to thank kim ju and dor for being there when i needed them. they'll never leave me in the lurch (:

word of the day (and days to come): horrible.

it's a lot.

2009-05-26T23:35:00.003+08:00

there's too much love in this little heart.
and then sometimes, maybe all the time, everything means a lot.

------------

im working at SPH now! will update with photos soon (: hope i can make more friends though. i feel so withdrawn. i was never like that in the past. i wonder what changed me. i wanted to go back to being fab and all... but the feeling's never coming back.
today somebody commented "wow... you're really shy =)"
like huh?! nobody's ever said that of me before. although i think i really am shy inside, everyone else thinks that im not shy at all.

it was actually a rude awakening of some sort. hope i get chosen for the new paper new face assignment! but i somehow think i wont get it. oh well...

friendship.

2009-05-19T00:20:00.002+08:00

friends are important. good friends stick around no matter how much they disagree with the stupid decisions you make, the wrong steps you take.. no matter how much they wanna punch you for saying something hurtful haha.

but yeah, i really really want to say a big thankyou to all my friends who have stuck by me. in one way or another. through all my highs and lows. i usually do thank them already, but some of you i really can't thank enough. you know who you are.

and yeah, no matter what happens (or happened), if you're a friend, i'll stick around too.

i promise.

paper heart

2009-05-17T19:48:00.005+08:00

where is your heart?
'cause I don't really feel you..
where is your heart?

-----------------------

原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪

原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语

-----------------------

how do you measure someone's worth?

mad love.

2009-05-15T23:21:00.003+08:00

i just got my first birthday present!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (:

when i entered my room i saw a box on my table. i couldn't believe my eyes.

it was a spanking new GOLD Canon Ixus 110 IS. omggggggggg. wayyy shinier in real life.

i started screaming and shouting for a good whole 5 minutes. my mother was awfully shocked HAHAH. i was jumping around like crazy girl.

ok so, the person who bought me this camera is non other than my dad. i asked him to help me check out the price of canon ixus 870 IS because i wanted to save up for it. i didnt expect him to buy me an even NEWER version of the camera! (: when he came home i ran out immediately to give him a HUGE hug!

this camera is awesome cuz it's sleek, small and has helluva shooting capabilities!!! even the video is in HD. which is AWESOME. and 4x optical zoom......

ok im delirious. -floats away-

today i tried to make breakfast and i scalded my fingers. people, NEVER buy Betty Crocker's Pancake Mix. it's horrendous. stick with the cheaper brands. i made some awful waffles. to think that i woke up at 7:15am and not accomplish anything at all. ): sigh. i cant describe how disappointing that was. wanting to make something perfect but seeing it end up so horrible!

oh well! i will NEVER cook again. cept for maggi mee, sushi and buttered prawns.

about lines

2009-05-15T00:41:00.002+08:00

today i realised, there's a very thin line between being helpless and being resolute.
many people might not link these 2 extremes together, but somehow i have found my way to.

when you find yourself in a predicament i.e a situation that's hard to get out of, or almost impossible to solve, you find yourself feeling lost and helpless. however, this may also be the point in time that you become resolute.

for me, im now being resolute to turn the situation to my advantage. or at least make myself feel happier. but who knows, deep inside it may be a resolution to just stick with this fate. afterall you don't see how you can change it, yeah? you may just be fronting. and one day if you realise your iron-willed resolution is actually just a facade.. everything crumbles.

wow. that was heavy. HAHA. it almost sounds as if im schizophrenic. i don't know. it's hard being a gemini. all i know is, i don't wanna cry no more. (:

----------------

birthday wish:
wensi wants to go watch AT LEAST oneeee arts fest performance because she has NEVER EVER been to any.
(arts fest ends on my birthday btw! i think.. it's a sign.)

muse.

2009-05-13T00:16:00.002+08:00

me at the Singapore Art Museum!

yay wensi loves museums (: and just sitting around at home watching DVDs. it's good to be able to slack around. though i really think i should get a job. been granted an interview on fri. hope everything goes well!

btw museums are not boring lah! the next museum i wanna visit is the toy museum. roomie jio you go national museum!

i enjoy walking in museums because i feel like a better person when i'm in the museum. that day i went to the SAM, i saw this huge exhibition by Wu GuanZhong. He's a really really old chinese artist. he's almost 90 this year but he's STILL painting. his artwork is characterized by random colourful spots of paint on beautiful scenary. and mind you, the spots are EXCESSIVE. in my opinion he could do much better without those colourful spots, but that's what makes his art special, i guess.

walking in museums makes you feel happy.

when you're with happy people. (:

walking in museums makes you feel happy. when you can actually understand (or at least have an interpretation of) what the artist is trying to tell you.

--------------

J'aime le Kenzo Amour Eau De Parfum! HAHA

Disconnect.

2009-05-01T02:18:00.002+08:00

please don't tell me it's time to disconnect.

"Hello..?"

Finally finished packing and moving out of hall. Much thanks to Eugene for helping! I had a HELL lot of stuff within that tiny half of the room i had in Hall 3.

Staying in hall had been a wonderful experience. (mostly.) I met some REALLY great people, and we shared really swell memories (:

I'll never forget the late night movies, mahjong, just sitting around talking nonsense and chilling, random escapades to ADM and ikea, lovely post-its and identities pasted on our doors, late night soccer matches (wheet! although i mostly fall asleep halfway), late night suppers (touches stomach ruefully), late night HTHTs (heart-to-heart talks)...

I'll never forget the wonderful people I have met. (: Every single one.

I don't want this to be the time to disconnect. Although I think I might have no credits left.

-------------------

Talking about disconnecting.. I guess after what I did today I really must start considering disconnecting from some things.. It's like, breaking away from an addiction. It's gonna be so painful. But I think writing will help.

How do you end... or how do you disrupt such a strong connection? But you know, you've gotta do so someday. It's for your own good. It's for the greater good.

We all need connections..

But do I need this particular one? I think I do. But I can't.

people.

2009-04-13T20:00:00.002+08:00

people keep talking; they can say what they like.

but everything's gonna be alright. (:

anyways. i just came back from dinner at can13. it was my utmost ill fortune to see this guy again. my first encounter with him was last night, in the TV lounge during a Man-U match. ok fine, maybe it's too obvious that i'm a liverpool fan. this guy turned around to glare at me twice during the match. and hello, i only stayed in that room for like 15 minutes?! he looked SO fierce. like he was gonna kill me.

and today at the canteen when i walked past him, he even craned his neck to give me this cold, hard glare. oh man, i mean it's already bad enough that you're not goodlooking, why give such an ugly expression? tsk tsk. i swear the next time i see him i'm gonna smile SO big that he'll soften his glare. (my initial thought was to glare back twice as hard but why stoop to his level?)

sigh, people nowadays.

i am seriously feeling insecure about tomorrow. but i feel that i've already done all i can to prepare for it. i just hope that i'll be less careless in punching in the numbers. that said, i shall go trim my nails now. whee.

i think i am happy.

2009-04-08T21:48:00.002+08:00

HEHE. friends forever though it's very cliche.

I think my troubles are finally over! whee!

it's great to have a load off your chest sometimes.

random photo of us before goin to Lin Jun Jie's concert. hahha did i mention that i had a SUPER time there? the whole thing was so enjoyable and very touching!

this semester is coming to an end.. and that means, hall life for me is gonna end soon too. this sem i learnt a lot of new things like how to handle people and issues. how not to slack so much.. how to cherish what i have and be thankful.. etc etc.

in general i hope i have become a better person in some aspects. and i will cherish everything, every experience, everyone.

alright, off to take a shower and then start on Accounting. Accounting rules my world. (: WHEE!

(imma super-dork *pushes up spectacles and gives a dorky grin*)

the right kind of wrong?

2009-04-07T12:59:00.003+08:00

and so last night, i realised i still knew how to blush.

but what's the use? when you know it's not gonna end up prettily. when you have to hide something, you know.. you know you know it's wrong.
but who says we have to do what is right ALL the time? sometimes you have to do something wrong first. and then you'll see how the wrongs right themselves.
i hate to be writing metaphorically, twisting my words around.. but there are so many things i can't say.

i don't know where i'm going

and i don't know why

listen to your heart

before.. she tells you goodbye.

slacking.

2009-04-01T21:38:00.005+08:00

cutting yourself too much slack is evil.

i dare say i have been like this (fat) cat for the past 8 months.
today i finally realised. i think i must have been blinded. for EIGHT LONG MONTHS.
i think i didnt want to face up to the fact that i have been slacking my life away. i always liked to cut myself some slack. but i totally didn't realise that i was overdoing it.

today's quiz woke me up. i walked in without any hope of doing well. the paper was really easy though. and i realised i could actually do it. complacency set in and i slacked off, as usual. ending up with 3 or 4 very careless mistakes. i find myself agonizing over this same issue over and over again. and so today, i finally realised that the root of the problem was.

and it doesnt help that today is a wretched rainy day (and when being nice doesnt help at all). i mean, sometimes it's freakin' tiring to be nice to somebody. somebody you really care about. but the person just freakin' doesnt appreciate, or doesn't even acknowledge. and repeatedly pisses you off. and i think i have FINALLY freakin had enough. (and i'm not talking about a guy)

anyway, back to the topic of slacking. i realised if i wanna do anything, i shouldnt cut myself any slack. i must learn to be a perfectionist. i used to mock perfectionists for being too uptight, too serious and too fussy. but i realised, it is the perfectionists who get what they want in life.

i know, me saying that i wanna be a perfectionist sounds awfully hilarious. but i'll try.

reliance

2009-03-22T22:10:00.003+08:00

Reliance is an evil thing.

today i am going to blog about reliance.
have you wondered.. what you would do if you lost your cellphone.. or if your internet connection got cut off.. or for myopic people, if you lost your contact lenses and spectacles?
i, for one, would feel helpless. i would feel miserable.
and this is all because i am way too reliant on these things. spectacles,mobile phones, remote controls, my mom, my friends...

the funny thing is, the scariest thing is to be reliant on a person. because when you lose your spectacles and your remote controls.. you can replace them. maybe not that quickly, but you know you can replace them. somehow.

but when you lose the person you're reliant on.. you can never replace him/her. you can never re-establish that relationship. and you feel lost, for a very very long time.
empty, even. you'd wish you were never so reliant on that person.. but you couldnt have known that things would turn out this way...
or could you? and even if you did, you didn't want to do anything to stop being so reliant. and that's the irony of it all.

that's why, reliance is evil..

simplicity.

2009-03-15T19:10:00.003+08:00

"rid yourself of vanities and just go with the season"

whee today i am very proud of myself. went shopping at vivo for elaine's present and i saw this super pretty hoodie at pull & bear! i wanted to buy it for myself but i resisted the temptation. the liverpool adidas jacket too! ):
what a shame. today's the last day of the sale..
and i didn't get anything! after befriending eugene i feel that i've seriously become a more thrifty person :D which is a good thing, eh?

--------------

watched liverpool massacre man-united (old trafford omg!) at CHIJMES yesterday. the atmosphere was great. we sat outside though it looked like it was going to rain. i think everyone in the courtyard (maybe about 100+ people) was fervently praying for the sky not to rain, and so it didn't!

my heart totally dropped when ronaldo scored the first goal (a penalty, a dumb one.)
but when torres equalized... i suddenly felt that there was hope again!
honestly speaking, because the match was played at old trafford, i dont think many liverpool fans expected a win. and given man-u's form...
but the tables turned when a penalty was awarded to livepool! gerrard scored the penalty and the crowd went wilddddddddddddddddd. at half time i was sooo happily kissing my crest HAHA.

and then on to the 2nd half.. giggs, berbatov and someone else got subbed in. we were certainly rather worried because it was only 2-1.
but thanks to the oblivious van der sar, liverpool scored again! this time it was aurelio who put in a nice 25-yard free kick! :D i almost cried when he scored. the crowd went wild yet again. and the manchester united fans were subdued. they were really super noisy at first. (cheering whenever fergie came on screen. like ?! of all people ferguson -_-)

vidic was a liability throughout. and tevez was just plain unlucky. didnt see ronaldo nor rooney in action at all. it was always always tevez who was unable to execute the finishing touch. i think he should lose weight.

finally dossena scored AHHAHA. van der sar just watched the ball follow a projectile motion into the goal HAHAHHA. i think he expected the ball to fly over the bar. but it didn't! HAHA.
everyone laughed like crazy. i think dosenna himself was amused too.

overall, i know that liverpool has a tough road ahead and we might very well not win the title, but everyone has to admit that it was a beautiful double-win against manchester united this season (:
and torres is the world's best striker. (quotes gerrard)
i couldn't agree more!

liverpool lovin'! (:

photographs and memories

2009-03-10T02:43:00.000+08:00

whee! im using Picasa 3 to blog this! i did the collage with picasa too! hope this will work! (crosses fingers!)
firstly i'd like to say a BIGGGGG HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KIMMIN! :D we just ad this very irritating bash for my roomie. organised by mister yong sheng le. -_- i got whipped cream and chocolate cake all over my hair! and my roomie was the worst. she looked like she emerged from Hall 3 FOC war games :P

aaaanyways. the collage: most of the photos are of DANCE PEOPLE :D you guys are aweeeesome. we got 5th in the HO closing competition though most people thought we should have gotten into the top 3 (: thank you for your support peopleee!

and there are photos of us girls in timbre! goodfellas rock SO much (: and and, i fell in love with the heavenly roast duck pizza. now everytime i go to timbre i MUST eat that. -touches my tummy ruefully- ):

and pictures of yushan's sendoff! but but shan will be back in may :D YAY! hehe i really enjoy her company. but she'll be graduating soon anyways! :D hahahha. it's kinda scary to be working when your friends are all still studying, isn't it?

and last but not least, rongrong's birthday celebration (belated)! we bought her a wallet from riverisland. however, her bf actually got her a wallet frm braun buffel earlier! ): sian! but nvm, i hope she'll use our wallet when she gets bored of leather! :P love the 7`11 girlies. too bad we never get full attendance EVER!

alright this is gonna be one helluva week for me. im really stressed up and, i can't stop shopping.
i watched confessions of a shopaholic and boy, is it funny! girls like me, MUST watch it.

-----------------------------

oh and, try this when u're free!
it's DAMN accurate lah.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

awesome cap.

2009-03-10T02:26:00.001+08:00

im lovin' this. it says "Revoltage" btw.

balloons.

2009-02-19T14:39:00.002+08:00

just a short post before i go for dance. the final showdown's tonight! (:

i really love this photograph. the colours and the composition. the sky looks unreal.

sidenote: glucosamine capsules are the HARDEST things to swallow. because they float. it's hard to wash it down with water. i almost died choking on it. but but still, thankyou yongkai for the glucosamine! i really need it now that my knees are so chui. ):

got this huge blue-black on my right knee due to box-splitting too much. i think im doing it the wrong way cuz my knee hits the ground first. ouch!

alright im going off! i just wanna say.. no matter how negative i've been throughout this period, i must say i'm gonna miss everything. and everyone.

dwelling.

2009-02-10T02:14:00.003+08:00

isn't it funny how it's late at night and you feel so tired but you just don't want to get to bed..

because you're thinking of stuff. and it's not like you'll come to a conclusion after thinking so much.

there's simply no solution in sight. but you just want to think about every wrong word you said, every wrong action you made..

just to perpetuate your pain.

we are sometimes masochistic, aren't we.

we know there's no point dwelling on things. dwelling won't improve the situation, really.

but sometimes.. during a certain night you just want to dwell.

tonight i'm not gonna complain. but wait, i think i already have.

such a pain.

mix tape.

2009-02-06T16:24:00.004+08:00

i'd give anything to be able to leave on a jet plane now. i'm serious! though unsure of the destination.. anywhere's fine with me. ok as long as it's not a place where i can't speak the language.

didnt get the placement for exchange (because NTU has too little foreign contacts or my GPA sucked too badly). my roomie and suhui got the placements(: but that means it's gonna be a lonely next sem for me.
daniel not staying.. jianhao not staying.. derrick might not be staying.. yiiyin and yongjie graduate..
I AM LEFT FRIENDLESS. ok that's assuming i can get a hall next year. HAHA.

never mind. we'll see how that works out.

-------------------------

i recently joined a facebook group called "LOVE, The Hemingway Project"
FYI, Ernest Hemingway is very famous author. i've never read any of his works but i've heard of him.

he said one of his greatest love stories was made up of just 6 words:

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn."

at first glance you might feel bewildered. how can anyone manage to write a story in just SIX words? what happened to the baby? why were the shoes never worn?
could it be still birth?

my first interpretation was..

somewhere sometime there was a young couple who was very much in love. they were both not well-off, but lived comfortably. one day the girl discovered that she was pregnant. both were not prepared for the pregnancy. the boy was 20 and the girl was 17. she told him the news with such fear and trepidation she almost broke down. and the boy was in shock too. but in a split second he cradled her face in his hand.. telling her how happy he was to hear he was going to become a father.
he could barely contain his excitement. the very next day he rushed into town to get a pair of baby shoes for his unborn child. "blue.. or pink?" he couldn't decide as he didn't even know his baby's gender! and so he decided to go with the most neutral colour, white. which also stood for purity and grace, among other things.
as time went by, the girl's stomach grew bigger, and she subjected to scorn and contempt by the others. these others.. who thought they were so pure, so high and mighty. such saints they thought themselves to be.
she quit school, and the boy did too. to work and earn money in preparation for raising a baby. since their parents have more or less disowned them in fear of this young couple bringing shame to their families.
the girl needed support, but could find none in the boy's arms. he was always too busy, rushing in and out of town to run errands for rich merchants and traders. he loved her so much he was willing to suffer anything. but he didn't know that the girl would gladly trade a diamond ring for more quality time spent just sitting beside him.
but one day the girl got tired of this. all she knew was, she could not stay in that town anymore. she left.
where she went, nobody knew.
overwhelmed by grief.. the boy put the baby shoes up for sale. no, he was not really thinking that anyone would buy it. it was just an act of commemorating and perhaps perpetuating the pain of finding and losing two people which he held so dear.

or you could interpret the second part as still birth.. which would be equally tragic.

---------------
anyway i'm done writing for today.

finally, laid eyes on.. something special.

that's my six word love story. have a go too! (:

he's just not that into you.

2009-02-02T02:21:00.003+08:00

i just bought a self-help book. yet again. (i was inspired by tongtong :P)

it's titled: He's Just Not That Into You

(it's now a major motion picture which will be screened soon!)

to summarize, it's the no-excuses truth to understanding guys.

and it's a book which tells you to assume the WORST.

some stuff i learnt:

1. he's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. -because, trust me, if he likes you, he will.

2. Men like to pursue women, but they don't like to be pursued.

3. He's just not that into you if he's not calling you. -men know how to use the phone.

4. No matter how busy a man is, he will call the girl/woman he loves. -they've got their priorities.

5. Don't be with someone who doesn't do what they say they are going to do.

6. if you can find him, he can find you. if he wants to find you, he will.

7. Better than nothing is not good enough for you.

8. if i like you, i don't forget you. ever. (which includes: i wont forget to call, i wont forget to say "thank you", i wont forget your birthday.... and the list goes on.)

9. if you feel the need to start "figuring him out", please consider the glorious thought that he might not be that into you. And free yourself to go find the one that is. (:

10. and and, finally, don't waste the pretty! (:

ahhah and the rest of the book.. is not relevant to me.

why waste your time/youth obsessing over a guy who's not that into you? you deserve that phonecall. or someone else.

i would recommend this incredibly funny book to my girlfriends.. but most of them are happily in love (: which is great. so i can have this book all to myself!

P.S: one of the authors of this book is an ultra sweet guy. even when he's super busy at work, he takes time to make a phonecall to his wife just to tell her that although he's REAL busy and can't chat for long, he misses her and wants her to know that. (: awwww

---------------------

im giving myself 7 days to become a new person.

-seven days to learn something new.

-seven days to have a huge revelation

-seven days to stop finding excuses.

-seven days to prioritize.

-seven days to change my perspective of things

-seven days to stop living in misery

-seven days to take control of my life

-seven days to become a better person

-seven days to let go of things i've been carrying for way too long.

-seven days to re-organize my life.

-seven days to be happier than seven days before.

(: and by the way, my dearest el nino torres scored TWO fabulous goals for liverpool against CHELSEA HAHA.

certainly lightened my spirits.

bailamos para siempre

2009-01-24T04:47:00.006+08:00

wooots this picture is so hot. love the composition and the sensuality.

went to watch bailamos para siempre at Zouk on thursday night. it was quite feast for the eyes. by the way, bailamos para siempre means "dance forever" in spanish (:

bailamos bailamos bailamos.

i was SO inspired to learn latin dance. especially salsa and jive. but i feel that im not jumpy enough for jive. so yeah, maybe next sem i'll take up salsa in school! learnt some basic steps frm jlin's sister! she was sooooo sizzling in her dance item. saw ben yeo who happens to be in ballare in SMU. and of course ahmad who's the president of NTU's Salsa and Ballroom :D he was great! cept for the gold glitter eyeliner and thin moustache.

will upload pics once jlin sends me. ahmad looked very funny :D

anyway i went to dye my hair today and oh boy, i loved the color. but my hair's getting drier by the day and.. guess what. there are 2 HUGE RED BUMPS on my face. they're not even pimples. they're BUMPS. yanrong now i can understand what happens to your skin when you walk past perfume counters. i think my bumps formed because of the strong chemicals used to dye my hair. i'm patting on hazeline snow now. hope my skin will be fine by tml. afterall CNY's around the corner! okay i think next time i'll just dye my roots. save money also :D TEEHEE.

went shopping with yongxian and i got a pair of sateeeen leggings and a gorgeous dress. simply simply gorgeous. it's simple but chic (: i'll wear it on chu1 yi1!!

had hall dance just now. was a great session of fun and laughter (: we did krumping. and boy was it TIRING. i think it's rather difficult to really have a "choreo" for krumping cuz it's rather freestyle in nature. go youtube krumping and you'll see that it's a scary high-energy dance. then we tried some stunts.. ok not much luck yet but i think we'll make it. i hope we do! lunch later in town then it's shopping for costumes! and mini reunion dinner with my family :D yay.

life has been okay these few days. i've straightened out my thinking and.. yeah i guess it's all a matter of perspective. life aint a bed of roses.. i guess we all need to learn how to deal with it.

but i still cant help but think........

find a place to hide.

2009-01-18T23:58:00.004+08:00

it's the second time i've cried during dance prac. machiam some drama. but seriously, im just too frustrated with myself.

wouldnt it be nice if i could be a baby again and cry in somebody's arms.. but no.. there was no one.

today when i burst out crying i wanted to cry in front of someone but i knew i couldn't. not anymore.

my life is becoming more and more packed. although it's good in a way because supposedly i wont have anymore time to think about senseless stuff.. i still think about senseless stuff.
maybe that's why i have no time to do my stuff anymore.

can i not live this life anymore? i know everyone is busy too.. and i became busy by CHOICE. or putting it more crudely, i deserved it. but anyway, i am SICK of this.

it doesnt help that my relationship with one of my bestest friends in hall has changed sooo much.
i dont want it to change.. can we go back to when we first knew each other? we were so much happier then.

all i want is somebody who cares.. where are you? you're not easy to find..

-------------------

did you feel the pain in the picture?

about beds.

2009-01-10T03:14:00.002+08:00

Let me tell you a secret:

I help my roomie make her bed when i miss her and i want to tell her stuff but i can't find a chance to.

or maybe it's to atone for being a snappy little brat.
choose one.
ok it's the former reason.

--------------------------

will you still love me, tomorrow?

2009-01-07T00:20:00.000+08:00

will you still love me,

when i start nagging at you more than you can bear

when my waist grows bigger than my hips

when my hair starts to thin

when my hands start to shake

when I can no longer sketch

when I can no longer sing

when I can no longer dance

when I can no longer go on long walks with you by the river

when I can no longer cook nor clean

when the children have to take care of me instead

when my skin starts to sag, when my hands are no longer smooth

when I can no longer amuse you with my witty comments

when I can no longer laugh without choking

when we argue more than we speak

when I least deserve your love?

will you still love me, tomorrow?

it's always scary to grow old. but it's even scarier to grow old with somebody. the fear that he/she may not love you tomorrow.

the season of giving

2008-12-23T16:16:00.003+08:00

everybody likes to sit around a table with family and friends during festive seasons, exchange well-wishes and gifts.. nicely made cards and what not.. everybody will be afraid that their gifts will not be well-received.. but the receiver will always try to be grateful. afterall the giver was sincere enough in the first place.

some people tend to give more than they receive. although they dont really expect to receive the same amount that they give, i think the basic amount would be a simple "thank you"

is it SO hard to say thanks? or at least try to look grateful. like the gift meant something.

when people say they have "no time" to do something nice for their friends.. i kinda think it's crap. because you can always make time. dont tell ME how busy you are. cuz i have experienced the epitome of being 'busy'. to me, "no time" = no sincerity. or maybe that friend doesnt mean THAT much to you afterall.

i guess i shouldnt do so much anymore. i used to think that friends dont require anything in return. just keep giving.

then i realised, no, i think we do need something in return too. just a simple sms or a word of thanks would suffice. but when you dont get any..

giving can be tiring.

so the next time you receive something from someone and you didnt prepare anything in return for that person, just give a sincere smile and say "thank you!"

i think the giver will feel fantastic.

thanks to all my friends who have given anything to me in one way or another. (: HEHE. i reallyyy appreciate you all.

i kinda miss the times we gathered tgt and exchanged handmade stuff.. really shows how much we cared for each other.. but this christmas.. i guess we're just all too busy. ):

oh well! the gathering at shan's was AWESOME. wenjie and ps gave me facial masks :P which i will put to good use! and yx made terrific cupcakes. SERIOUSLY the best ive eaten. shan bought me a duper chio pair of havaianas which has earned me loads of compliments in hall already.

lookin forward to the mini 7`11 gathering at chinpei's house later (:

BAH BAH BAH

2008-12-17T12:10:00.003+08:00

SIGH! this holiday doesnt seem like a holiday. it's even busier than last sem. ):
sometimes i really regret involving myself in sooooooooo many hall activities. somehow i always get myself into this kinda shit. x_x taking on too much responsibilities and trying to do so many things at one go. every day is packed and it's getting harder and harder to breathe.

got an audition later.. dont think it'll turn out well because we've simply had NO time to rehearse at all. afterall my partner is a busy person too. ):

i didnt wanna sell my soul to the hall but it seems i have.
because friends dont like to disappoint.

--------------------------

first pingpong match tml. gggggggggggggggggggggg. havent played competition in AGES.
DIE!

-------------------------

you were the one who knew me best..
you knew when i put fullstops in conversations i'm pissed off.
you notice all the small things.
you would lend me a helping hand whenever i needed one..
you would always try to cheer me up..
you never turned your back on me once even though i did.

i hope this 'thank you' is not too late.
thanks for being such a great friend. (: gems like you are hard to find..

change.

2008-12-13T02:17:00.002+08:00

but why make yourself out to be / feel so miserable?
i think you dont deserve it..
although you have accumulated a lot of bad karma over the years, i still dont think you deserve this.
and it's self inflicted!

maybe it's time to make things right. (:

and the time is now.

one litre!

2008-12-11T23:58:00.002+08:00

.

Your birthday means that you love the sun and the beach.
Your best colors are red and yellow. You tend to have many friends and you are well-liked, possible because of your outgoing and sunny personality. You are a very positive and enthusiastic person. Shopping is likely something you enjoy very much, not just for yourself, but for other people as well. You shine at parties and get togethers, and you are definitely an extrovert.

ermmm ok that was SO untrue. about the sun and the beach. i DISLIKE both.

--------------------

i watched "one litre of tears" that day alone at home and i cried BUCKETS. probably because the dying girl in the movie had nobody to love her.. no asou-kun! ): sad. the girl in the Drama serial had asou-kun! (:

then i watched it in hall with ykx and barney. dont know why i didnt cry during the movie when i watched it with them.. HAHA! so we decided to watch the drama serial to get into the really sad mood. (zi4 zhao3 de4.)

"If you're walking, no matter how slow, I will walk with you.
If you're speaking, no matter how slow, I will listen to you.
If you cannot talk on the phone anymore, I will come directly to see you.
I .. love you. Probably. Maybe I'm in love."

(: lovely. and heart-wrenching.

Only Human

Kanashimi no muko-u kishi ni 哀しみの向こう岸に
Hohoemi ga aru to iu yo 微笑みがあるというよ
Tadori tsuku sono saki ni wa たどり着くその先には
Nani ga bokura wo mat-teru? 何が仆らを待ってる？

Ni-geru tame ja na-ku 逃げるためじゃなく
yu-me ou tame ni 梦追うために
Ta-bi ni deta ha-zusa 旅に出たはずさ
to-oi natsu no ano hi 远い夏のあの日

Ashita sae mieta nara 明日さえ见えたなら
tame i-ki mo nai kedo ため息もないけど
Nagare ni saka-rau fune no you ni 流れに逆らう舟のように
Ima wa mae he susume 今は前へ进め

Kurushimi no tsukita basho ni 苦しみの尽きた场所に
Shiawase ga matsu toiu yo 幸せが待つというよ
Boku wa mada saga-shite iru 仆はまだ探している
Kisetsu hazure no himawari 季节はずれの向日葵

Ko-bushi nigiri-shime こぶし握りしめ
!asa-hi wo mateba 朝日を待てば
A-kai tsume a-to ni 赤い爪あとに
namida kirari ochiru 涙キラリ落ちる

Kodoku ni mo nareta nara 孤独にも惯れたなら
Tsuki a-kari tayori ni 月明かり頼りに
Hane na-ki tsuba-sa de to-bi tatou 羽根なき翼で飞び立とう
Mot-to mae he susume もっと前へ进め

Amagu-mo ga kireta nara 雨云が切れたなら
Nureta michi kagayaku 濡れた道かがやく
Yami da--ke ga oshie-te kureru 暗だけが教えてくれる
Tsuyoi tsuyoi hikari 强い强い光
Tsuyoku mae he susume 强く前へ进め

it's a lovely lovely song. when the song starts playing the 4 of us will just "oh my god noooooo" and start shrivelling then reaching for the tissue box LOL.

i told zhutou we were torturing ourselves by watching it over and over again..
but he said it makes us more human (:
and i said.. afterall we are only human.

highly recommended drama serial! (the movie is based on a true story, which makes it all the more heart-wrenching)

5 days a week.

2008-12-08T01:16:00.002+08:00

LOSE. cannot upload photo. did a collage of the pictures that day at kbox/xinwang cafe with "3+1" and derrick!
haha so nostalgic. has been AGES since a clique has had a name. my last one was "7`11" :P

choir camp almost killed me. have never had a knack for singing ALL the right notes ALL the time. and i always had difficulty with flats and sharps. i must totally overcome these difficulties cuz sometimes im the only soprano singing ): 1 against 10, very xin ku! and i dont want to be a burden.
but "ding dong merrily on high" is a superbly nice song :D

it's sunday night and im alone in hall. ok la, yk's around, but hall still feels empty. went town with yanrong today :D IT'S THE SCHU SALE! 50 & 70% OFF ALL SHOES! ommmmgggggggggg. got 2 pairs of sandals for myself. they are PREEETY. :D we are happy kids. feasted on crystal jade and carl's junior too! we spend all our money on food. im proud of myself today because i stopped myself from buying useless shoes/tops/watches just because they're pretty!

it's like 1:30am now and im SUPER sleepy. think i'll sleep after i go collect my laundry. havent been sleeping so early for a looooooong time. because all my friends aint here. ):

table tennis at 10am later and dance at 11am later. i think my bones will break. CONFIRM.

ruiyuan posted class photos on facebook entitled "We see each other 5 days a week!" (: lovely lovely memories. actually i think tears came to my eyes as i saw all those photos. we have changed SO much. omg. it felt so nostalgic seeing the chocolate fountain explode, grad night, prom night, bbq at miss cheong's..... my awful long hair.. peishan's cute spiky hair.. yongxian's red specs.. shan's short hair..

those days we didnt know what makeup was. or rather, we knew but we didnt use lah! you get the drift.
those days we ate at ke ai ji, trekked to high school canteen to eat western food and cai fan, ate at curry wok, al-ameen, forture...
those days i watched movies more frequently than ever before.. because town was just "171" or "174" away (:
those days we used to laugh at the geog people because their lessons ended later..
those days there was a whole class of people to comfort me when i was down..
those days we gossipped about teachers and everyone else..
those days we sat at the class bench whenever we could..
those days we enjoyed ordering canadian pizza to eat at the class bench and we enjoyed piling all those boxes on the rubbish bin..
those days we had ugly toilets with leaky taps.. (now the juniors have pretty ones)
those days we wore our overly-small class tee once or twice..
those days we did mass dances (schemingly trying to pick our partners)..
those days we sang all the hwachong songs..
those days we had differences and arguments..
those days we fought.
those days we eventually patched up..
those days we felt happy..
those days we...
saw each other 5 times a week.

(: